Gallagher Farm

I want you all to know that there's hope for me. Although I'm a "piler", it is possible for me to suppress my piling tendencies. I cleaned off the counter in my laundry room again this morning and it's still clean! The van is also still clean. Two whole days in a row! Now that the kids are set up with markers and coloring books in there, I'm not going to allow mountains of stuffed animals and toys the same travel benefits they used to have.

The kids and I spent the afternoon driving around the countryside in search of the farm property we would like to settle on. I'm getting so discouraged you would think I would give up. At least my husband is hoping I will. No! I know the perfect spot is out there for us somewhere and I will find it! Last night we wandered some fields that offered no hope but the sight of my four year old in her pig-tails and her rolled up jeans, chasing a rooster, did. I don't want to miss out on that! I want them to grow up chasing chickens and cows, riding horses and gathering eggs. I want them to come in at night as filthy as possible and have them fall asleep, after a warm bath, while we read stories.

I don't know where all these feelings come from. I grew up hearing stories from my Mother about growing up on a farm. From the sound of them she loved every minute of it. They only served to horrify me. I couldn't imagine living like that. Now I can't imagine living without it! I'm horrified at the thought that we might be stuck on this quarter acre lot with this enormous, cleaning nightmare of a house forever. With neighbors staring in our picture windows and a perfectly green lawn that I despise. I need space! I need acres of flowers and vegetables and pasture. I want a teeny tiny house that only requires a ten minute tidy once a day. I want to collect the mail in my obnoxious yellow robe and wave at the neighbors, knowing they don't really care that it's 11:00 a.m. and I'm still not dressed. I want my children's friends getting saddles and cowboy boots for Christmas instead of Game Cubes and lap tops.

Is this too much to ask? We are very happy here and I'm grateful for everything we have. It just doesn't fit. It's not us. I'm going to find "us" and it had better be sooner than later. You know, before the kids grow up and go to college. Somehow I don't think I'll care so much about pig-tails and baby chicks by then. That is, until the Grandkids come to visit!