A Victim Of The Food Police

I'll admit it. I've been getting a bit cocky about my success with Intuitive Eating. It's getting so easy for me, almost second nature now. Yesterday I was reminded of the delicacy of my new found relationship with food. I have a lot more work to do before it is rock solid.

Cheetos used to be right at the top of my naughty food list for a long time. We go way back. My Mother bought them once in a while when I was a child but with three older siblings there was never enough to go around as far as I was concerned. When I got a little older (11) I took the opportunity of buying them for myself. I was in 7th grade that year and very lonely. We had just moved to a new town. Up until school started I didn't know any other kids and was left to devise my own entertainment. The best that I could come up with was, walking to the corner store for a bag of cheetos and the library for a stack of books. This was my usual outing. Of course I was old enough to know that what I was doing was "wrong". Only a "bad girl" would sit and eat an entire bag of Cheetos in one day! But I was never over-weight as a child so my secret was safe.

I stopped buying them during my latest episode of dieting. I started practicing Intuitive Eating and I hadn't though of them since. Then yesterday I picked some up for the kids and I to snack on. We came home and divided them into baggies so everyone would have their fair share (that's another story). Instead of eating the few that I really wanted, I devoured them all. After eating too many they didn't even taste good but I kept on eating them like I'd trained myself to do as a child. It was a small bag so I didn't even eat that many but all the guilt feelings associated with this food came flooding back. I consoled myself with a bowl of ice-cream. Since there was only a bit of ice-cream left I had another bowl full and went to bed feeling sick.

This morning I was clear headed enough to evaluate my binging episode. I have decided that the only solution for my adiction is to buy five more bags of Cheetos and keep my house stocked with them at all times. Just the thought of force feeding myself Cheetos is enough to keep me eating Intuitively!