Bugs Are Us
The crickets here are loud. If they set up camp right outside one of the windows then they are really loud. Just now as I was blogging I got blown away by a REALLY LOUD CRICKET. This cricket was either on Ecstasy or he had his own Bose stereo system. After several stanzas I realized something. This cricket wasn’t on drugs. It was on my sewing machine, two feet from my head!!! If Persistence was awake, we would so have another pet right now. Though I'm not sure if we would really be able to find it since we can't even find the cat in our garage. (That's a whole other blog.)
I was trying to explain the extent of our bug invasion to Stranger last night. He didn’t get it. He thought I was joking. I wasn’t joking.
This is a blog I wrote a few weeks ago but didn’t post.
Tuesday July 25, 2006
Life is full of choices
When it’s 85 degrees in your house
Do you
A. Keep your windows closed in the evening and die from heat exhaustion?
Or
B. Open the windows, giving access to 16,000 models of flying insects that can and will fly right through your window screens?
If you choose to open your windows and live
Do you
A. Sit around the house in the dark?
Or
B. Turn the crack cocaine of the bug world on (the light bulb, it’s a dazzling and deadly trip) and entertain yourself by developing a mathematical equation for the seemingly random flights of your insect infestation? (With your mouth closed of course.)
If you’ve already tucked yourself in bed when you discover that your water bottle is near empty
Do You
A. Walk 10 steps to the nearest sink to fill it?
Or
B. Declare yourself more tired than thirsty and stay in bed?
If you decided you must drink or perish and you open the bottle only to find a dead bug floating in the water
Do You
A. Run screaming from the room and call 911? (This ones for you Daring.)
Or
B. Dump the bug down the drain and re-fill your water bottle?
If your water bottle is full the next night but again you’re too tired to lift your head off the pillow so you go back to sleep and wait till morning to get a drink only to find TWO earwigs nestled in the straw doing who knows what to each other
Do you
A. Say a silent prayer that you skipped that midnight refresher and then throw away the straw? Or
B. Yell to Persistence that you’ve found her some new friends.
When you go to take a bath and the tub is full of bugs
Do you
A. Turn on the sprayer and wash them down the drain while hopping in place squealing, "Eww, eww, eww"?
Or
B. Let them take a bath with you and enjoy the company.
Need I say more?
posted by The Lazy Organizer @ 11:04 PM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Blech. I hate bugs more than almost anything. I think you should definitely call 9-1-1. They're always up for a good chat and probably won't even send someone.
I'm a late-comer, I know. But, where do you live? I had no idea Utah had so many bugs! Do you live by a lake??
I thought I hated bugs but I'm finding that you get used to them after a while, whether you wanted to or not!
I haven't gone into detail about the bugs before. I guess I thought if I ignored them they would go away. That doesn't seem to be working.
We built a new house that we moved into this spring. It's set in the middle of an alfalfa field but all the ground that was dug up around the house has sprouted weeds that are 4 feet tall. I have been so relieved about moving into the house that I didn't even want to think about the yard so we haven't done a single thing to it.
Some people may disagree but I think all these weeds right up next to the house are like critter condos except that they don't want to pay association fees so they're moving in with us where they get free room and board.
Nothing beats a cozy drinking straw for two young earwigs in love!
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