Burning Instead of Beauty

My sister confessed to me tonight how weird she thinks I am getting. What does she mean, getting? And then she laughed about it. Like, “I'm joking but not really”. Like, “When I tell my friends about you they ask me if you belong to some kind of cult.” No I don’t, but I’m thinking of starting one. The Homeschooling, Don’t Wear Makeup, Don’t Watch TV, Don’t Own A Dishwasher, Don’t Wear Jewelry, Cult. Ok that last one isn’t really me. Yet. I’m thinking about it. I’m thinking, “How vain do I want to be?” I’m reading the scriptures (Isaiah 3:16-26) and I don’t like the fates of the women with their fine adornment. I used to think I would get an “enhancement” after I was done having kids. Not anymore. Sorry Stranger. I don’t want to be that vain. Weird? Yes. Vain? No.

I am vain enough to go to the gym every night and kill myself there. But don’t forget. I call it “Taking Care of My Body”. I only made it three times last week because Stranger came for a visit. This week I missed Monday for a baseball game (we go for the tasty low fat food) and I missed yesterday for cleaning out the garage. Doesn’t that sound fun!

I’ve been so lazy the last couple weeks that I’m not even running after I lift weights. I’m sitting my butt on a recumbent bike (bikes for lazy people) so I can read while I work out. Well. I’m pretending to work out. I’m barely breaking a sweat but it counts doesn’t it? I spent 40 minutes tonight pushing my feet around in tiny circles. That has to count!

Dang. I know it doesn’t count. I’ll do better next time. I actually ran my goal of three miles two weeks ago so I need to try that again. I’ve decided that I need to stop telling people how much I work out. I’m thinking I’m cool but they’re thinking, “How sad that this woman is wasting so much of her time only to look like that! I think I should tell her to get a life.” People who work out every night but are still 40 pounds overweight are so not cool. Just sad. And weird.