27 Mini Snickers Bars Ought To Do It

It just occurred to me that I might need some kind of plan to deal with the invasion of Halloween candy tomorrow. That’s really the scary part of all this Halloween business, isn’t it? Would you be shocked to learn that I haven’t bought one single bag of candy this year? I am. The idea didn’t even occur to me! It’s really wonderful when you think about it. Not only am I not eating sugar, I’m not thinking about eating sugar. I’m not even thinking about not eating sugar! Until today when I finally faced the fact that tomorrow was the BIG night and my blood began to run cold.

I have to confess something. You know how I haven’t been eating sugar for a few months? Well, I did the same thing last year. I stopped on the fourth of July and I stayed away from it for 4 months. Until last fateful Halloween night when I thought eating just a few pieces of chocolate wouldn’t hurt me. I started with the whoppers because no one else wanted them. Then things got out of hand. I think I lost conciousness somewhere between Pay Day and the Milky Way but I didn't stop until I had cleared out every last tootsie roll from a four mile radius. I don’t even like tootsie rolls! Does anyone like tootsie rolls? Come on tootsie roll makers. No one likes your disgusting rolls. Stop making them and subjecting innocent trick-or treaters to your cheap make-believe chocolate! Stupid kids aren’t even dumb enough to like it! Enough already! And you cheap people who are buying it should be ashamed of yourselves!

All those months of sugar deprivation kicked my butt and had their paybacks all in one night. And the next and the next. Now here we are at the one year anniversar-eve of my nine month long breakdown and I’m feeling the need to make a plan. Should I lock the kids in their rooms until Halloween is over and then spend a lot of money on their therapy later? Or should I let them go begging for candy and force them to eat every last piece of it all in one night, resulting in more therapy? It’s going to be really hard choosing between all the therapy options here.

Oh my goodness, I just had the most fabulous idea!!! I could have the kids gather more candy than they can carry, stealing some from other kid's bags if they have to and we’ll come home and make a candy sculpture with it! Are you so in love with this idea! It will be kind of like a Christmas gingerbread house only with Halloween candy and hot glue. I think the sculpture would be far less likely to disappear in the middle of the night if it is held together with hot glue rather than frosting. Oh, except the hot glue would melt the candy. You thought of that before I did, didn’t you.

Never mind, we’ll work out all the details later, like how I’m going to talk the kids into falling for my mad plan. It’s going to be so fun!!!

So what’s it going to be? Am I going to hold strong to my sugar free convictions? Or will I surrender to the powerful evil forces of all that is chocolaty, chewy and charming? (I was going to write sweet there but it didn’t start with Ch so I went with charming. Part of sugar’s lure is that it is so charming isn’t it? Yes, it totally makes sense.)

By the way, we are going to my friend’s house for dinner and then her husband is taking the kids treating while we stay home with the babies, handing out candy. Yes, you read that right, we're going to make the babies hand out the candy. Hopefully my friend bought Airheads again this year because I would never sell my soul for an Airhead, 27 mini Snickers bars maybe but never an Airhead.

For those of you who haven’t seen the kid’s Halloween bags here they are. They cut the fabric designs out from a pattern and blanket stitched them on a dish towel, all by themselves! (Take that you rude 4-H losers! Sorry, that’s a whole different post.) Victor made the Frankenstein, Persistence made the pumpkin and I made the ghost for Lovely. Then I took all of them, lined them with heavy duty vinyl (we wouldn’t want any candy escaping from a week seam!) and sewed everything together.