Bonds That Make Us Free

I read the most amazing book a couple weeks ago, Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner. I read a lot of amazing books. They really change my life, some of them for as long as two weeks. Really. It’s not like I don’t get anything out of them. I usually will learn one or two things from every book that really stick with me and I am able to put into practice.

But this book was different. I’m glowing. A complete life change is imminent. I'm just sure of it. It had all the secrets in it for being the kind of person you have always wanted to be but you could never figure out how. I talked to my sister about it on the phone.

Me - “I really feel different after reading this book. I feel like a whole new person.”

Her - “Yes, but are you going to feel that way two weeks from now?”

Me - “Well, I’ll just make myself read it every two weeks then.”

Here’s what I got out of it. You get promptings to do certain good things. When you don’t follow those promptings then you are going against what you believe is right. Since we don’t like thinking we are doing the wrong thing then we justify what we did in our minds. In other words, we have to make someone else appear wrong in our minds so that we can feel better about ourselves. Eventually we start believing the lies we tell ourselves which is that all our problems are someone else’s fault and everyone else is making us miserable when in fact we are making ourselves miserable by not doing what we know we should. Make sense? I know. My book reviews are so helpful. I should probably just stick to my famous, “I really liked this book. You should read it.”

Since reading this book I’ve been trying extra hard to follow every prompting I receive. It’s amazing how many there are every single day and it’s amazing how many of them I don’t want to follow. Even the easy ones like, “You’re baby is playing in the stickers. You really should stop writing and paste stickers all over her body. It would make her so happy.”

Me – “But I don’t want to stop writing. I’m almost finished and then I’ll play with her.”

Prompting – “But she’s tired and you really should either be playing with her or getting her ready for bed.”

Me – “Well I can’t get her ready for bed because her pajamas, sheets and blanket are in the wash. She’s just being an annoying little pest. Why can’t she go play with her brother and sister? Why does she have to keep getting into everything and making a mess?” See how I start blaming her because I’m not doing what I know I should be doing?

The small promptings are just as hard to follow as the big ones. I don’t want to do any of them. I just want to be a lazy do nothing. Why? If a prompting is telling me to do something good then ultimately doing it will make me happier won’t it? Then why do I choose to be lazy and unhappy? That is a good question. Can you please answer it for me?

This morning I found a plate in the sink with a big chip on the edge. I didn’t raise my voice to the offender but I said rudely, “Can’t you be more careful? That was one of my favorite plates. I loved that plate,” pause and feel like an idiot. Then follow a prompting to say, “But not as much as I love you. I know you would never break it on purpose. It must have been an accident,” feeling much better about myself. “Just don’t ever let it happen again!” See how this book has changed me? I am a much better Mother today than I was last month. Aren’t you all so happy for me?

Did you see what I just did right there? See how it was all about me? Did I feel bad that I had made my son feel bad? A little, but mostly I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I do the right thing and feel like such a righteous, magnificent Mother and I want all of you to congratulate me for it.

Apparently I missed the whole point of the book and I need to read it again. I need to buy the book and underline every sentence in it because my sister was right. It’s been two weeks and the glow is gone.