My Rude Family

I was looking at some old drafts in my editor and stumbled upon this. I wrote it last fall when I was very sick with this pregnancy and I lived on the couch. I don't know how I put up with these people.

First

My son told me today that he knew why I ate so much. "You have to get your stomach really big first so the baby will have room to grow inside it." Excuse me? I do not eat a lot for one thing and for another thing I do not eat a lot! I have to eat often because it helps the nausea but I do not eat a lot! We'll see if anyone believes me once this baby is born and I confess how much weight I gained.

Next

My husband went to bed early tonight and then called me on my cell phone from our bedroom. "I was just calling to see if you could sleep on the couch tonight so I could stretch out for once in my own bed."

"What??? You get to stretch out every single night you sleep out of town in your own hotel room!"

"Ya but it's not my own bed. You're on the couch anyway and when you get up in the morning you'll just be back on it again so why don't you just sleep there tonight?"

"Honey, you go ahead and stretch out all you like. When I come to bed tonight I will deal with you in my own way."

"And what way will that be?"

"You'll find out. Goodnight sweetie!"