4 Secrets To Lazy Potty Training

Did I say my two year old was ready to potty train? Was she ever!!! She has just spent two days using the potty and we are not turning back. We bought new panties at the store today so no more diapers for us. Can you believe we went to the store in our undies? Yes! All of us were wearing undies. Of course we had clothes over them too but not one single one of us wore diapers to the store. It was scary but true.

I am feeling like an expert potty trainer at this point so I'm going to post all my secrets before I figure out that the entire day was an accident and I have no idea what I'm talking about.

1. First of all you must have a two year old that obeys everything you say and never argues. If you don't have a child like that I highly suggest you get one. We were successful on our third try. Results may vary.
2. Next, you know your child is ready to potty train when she is interested in watching other people go potty, when she can clearly communicate with you, "You go poo poo Mommy? Huh? You need wipe your bum Mommy? You use toilet paper? Huh Mommy?", when she hides to poop in her diaper and when she screams, "WET DIAPER!" while ripping the offensive article from her body each time she pees .
3. Thirdly you will want to get several potty books and read them to your toddler for two weeks straight. Get one with songs you can memorize. You won't actually be allowed to sing the songs while your child is going potty but they are fun to learn anyway. Wait until you're driving your nine year old and his friends around. That might be a more appropriate time to display your potty musical skills.
4. Lastly you must have a 7 year old who thinks it's fun to take your toddler to the bathroom 27 times a day and read stories to her while she goes potty. She must enjoy helping her wipe her bum and wash her hands and know all the right moments to clap and cheer. If you don't have one of these then you can borrow mine. She is booked through next week so get on her schedule as soon as possible.

That's it! Just follow these four easy steps to potty training and you will also find yourselves going to the store in your undies. Just please don't try on your new undies in the middle of the pantie isle while you're there, no matter how cute your bum bum is.

Never mind. If it's that cute then go ahead.