If I am my Mother then who is she?

Don't you hate it when you decide the milk is spoiled after the glass is already empty?

"Hmmm, this milk tastes a little funny but it must be because it is whole milk and I'm not used to drinking whole milk."

"I don't think this milk tastes right but I can't really tell so it must be fine. If it were spoiled I would definitely know it."

"Ok, I really think this milk might be spoiled. I'd better take another drink just to make sure."

"Ewww! Spoiled! If there were any left I would so be throwing it down the sink in disgust!"

What kind of freak drinks an entire glass of spoiled milk? Does that sound familiar? Anyone remember the Easter Egg incident of '79? Mother?

The last couple weeks I have been the perpetrator of some very suspicious behavior and I knew it was going to catch up to me sooner than later. The person who left me a comment saying that my milk would last longer if I didn't keep it in the door can go ahead and say they told me so but there are darker forces at work here.

If we were to drink milk in chronological order like we're supposed to then we would never have spoiled milk but when Psycho (and apparently I don't know how to spell that because I had to Google it) Organizing Mom starts de-cluttering the milk shelf, strange things can happen and I'm not just talking about swigging from the jug when the kids aren't looking. You know the whole peas porridge story where you just keep adding stuff to the leftover stew until it's 57 years old? Ok, it's kind of like that but with milk.

If your girls drink red milk and the rest of you are drinking blue milk then you have two half empty jugs of milk in the fridge at all times. That's enough to give any organizer a panic attack! When you buy two new jugs of milk why not just mix the old jugs together to make more room in the fridge?

You're never eating at my house again, are you?

Everyone said I was going to kill someone with my organizing one day. Or were they talking about my Mom with the Thanksgiving turkey? Either way the Boy Scouts didn't seem a bit bothered by the brownies we made today so our cooking can't be that bad. But then they didn't have milk in them. Or Turkey.

I promise I am not a complete drop out when it comes to food safety. I even squirt liquid soap onto the side of the sink before I touch raw chicken so I can use it to wash my hands afterwards without contaminating the soap dispenser. How about if that is my organizing tip for the day?

Oh, and I have another one too. Do you ever freeze your milk? Pour a cup of milk out of the jug first so it has room to expand as it freezes and make sure you put the milk in your sink to thaw several hours before you need it because it takes forever. Now you will never run out of milk again. Except for when you use the frozen milk and then forget to replace it and then forget that you already used it and then you cry a little because now you can't have your daily granola fix for breakfast the next morning.

You give it a try and I promise I'll be good with the milk from now on. Mostly.