We're New Parents!

We’ve adopted a sweet little girl! We brought her home last Thursday. The adoption isn’t final yet but I couldn’t wait to share the good news!

We actually have to prove to the authorities that we can go six months without her head getting chewed off by the neighbor’s dog and then we can officially call her our own. Until then we are still benefiting from all the eggs she’s giving us and, oh, did I say it was one little girl? I meant 11 little girls and we love them all! Of course we have our favorites but we would never tell them that. At least not until they’re older and we need to use it against them.

Aren't they adorable? I don’t even know why we had kids when we could have just had chickens because most of the time I can’t tell them apart. They fight the better part of each day and when they’re not fighting they’re eating. They’re noisy and disobedient and they stink. They never clean up after themselves and they have terrible table manners.

Chickens are actually better than kids in a lot of ways because they feed us breakfast, although not in bed and we have to cook it ourselves. They never whine that I’m spending too much time on the computer and they don’t cry if I won’t let them read book #4 (that's how behind the times we are) in the Harry Potter series because none of their friends are reading it. In fact they don’t even have any friends. We home school them so they can be un-socialized but I swear to you that they were weird and unfashionable chickens when we got them. Really.

If they fight too much or just plain annoy me then I can lock them in a cage for three days with nothing to eat but bread and water until they’ve learned their lesson and no one can take them away from me for doing it.

Speaking of bread and water, they never complain about my cooking. They eat anything and everything I so lovingly prepare for them and they don’t even mind that it’s all smashed together and thrown in the dirt.

Our biggest concern is keeping them safe from the neighbor’s dog. If it even comes near my little girls again then I am so going to be mad at it because that’s really about all I can do. Get really, really mad. I might even call up the neighbors in a fit of rage and say, “Your dog chewed our chicken’s head off!”

“Sorry about that,” they’ll say.

And then I’ll say, “Thank you!” and slam the phone down because I am really mean and take charge like that when I need to be.