Rules of Gift Giving

Christmas is coming!!!

Are you getting excited yet? I'm not! I think a perfectly wonderful holiday has been ruined by commercialism. Maybe it's the organizer in me or maybe I'm just a pessimist but I can't stand all the clutter, the shopping, the noise and the over spending. Luckily we don't watch TV so we are saved from the worst of it but as of Friday I won't want to step a foot outside the comfort of my own home.

Last year we spent two weeks in California to escape it all and spend time together as a family. Christmas day on the beach was wonderful!!! I'm trying to talk everyone into doing it again this year. I don't think I'm going to have to talk very hard. Yes we spent a bit of money on the vacation instead of on presents but I'd rather pay for memories than a bunch of junk that no one will remember in five years let alone 50. My kids will always remember the trip we took.

After reading this article, Cristina asked me what we give our kids for Christmas. Not a lot. They get a stocking full of useful trinkets like school supplies, puzzles, fun bandaids and shampoos etc. Then they usually get one present from us. Something useful of course. I'm not saying we never give toys because to a small child, toys are useful. But when we give toys we try to pick something that will be played with over and over and will last close to forever. Here are some things that have worked for us for Christmas or Birthday presents. I'll add to it as I think of things.

• Puzzles, games (as long as they are kept in a cupboard and put away after each use they will last a long time)
• Dolls (but not all the little crap that goes with them and will end up cluttering your house)
• A doll stroller or a shopping cart for a boy (they might not last forever but they get played with to death)
• Ride on pony (My girls love theirs but we bought them after Christmas when they were $10 instead of $60)
• Toy kitchen with minimal dishes
• Little tykes gym with slide (This would be great. We have something like this.)
• Trampoline (this may not work for you but our kids live on ours)
• Swingset
• Building blocks or a wooden train set
• Legos never go out of style
• Bikes, scooters, roller blades, helmets etc.
• Cd players (I won't buy my kids MP3 players because I don't want them tuning out the world around them.)
• Snorkel set with fins and mask (We swim a lot.)
• Books of course
• Tool box with REAL tools (you can add tools to it every year)
• Sports equipment
• Sewing machine (My kids won't get one until they are ready to leave home because they can use mine until then.)
• Craft projects and supplies
• Art supplies
• Clothes (I almost never give clothes for Christmas because we have already bought our winter clothes by then. I don't see the point in giving a new coat for Christmas when the kid needed it in October.)
• Gardening supplies (Please don't give this to your child in the middle of winter! Wait for a spring birthday.)
• A musical instrument if it's something they have been wanting. Although it might make a better family gift in case the child doesn't stick with it.
• Quilt or blanket they can drag around the house. My kids got these two years ago and they are great because I don't have to worry about my nice quilts getting ruined in a fort slide.

Of coure you aren't going to buy your child a gift if it doesn't fit with your family standards but also don't buy it for him just because it's something YOU want him to have. If your child isn't into sports, don't buy him/her a new basketball. This sounds obvious but I have done it before so I'm sure some of you (or your spouses) have too.

Another obvious one is to give age appropriate gifts. Don't buy your thee year old a cd player. Don't buy your four year old an adult sized soccer ball. Not that anyone I know has ever done that.

Also don't give a gift to one child that the whole family will want to use. For instance a game will go to the whole family not one child that will pitch a fit when they're mad and tell their sister she can't play it. The rule in our family is, if something belongs to someone then they don't have to share it if they don't want to. Ever. Of course I have my own exceptions to this rule. If someone owns a book and they choose to keep it on the family bookshelf than anyone is free to read it. Things like that.

As far as Grandparents go, there is not much you can do about their generous spending and gift giving. We've tried to encourage family gifts or paying for lessons or classes but that hasn't gone over well. You can make all the suggestions you want but they are are still going to buy what they want to buy.

Chris is doing a Gift Guide on her blog with some fun toys and games you might be interested in.

I think what I should do for the whole month of December is a daily post of Stupid Gifts I Had Better Not Catch You Paying Good Money For. Would that be fun?

If you're playing by my rules of gift giving then once the Holidays are over you will need to keep your kids locked up so they don't hear about all the loot their friends got that they didn't. Either that or you can teach your kids about spending money wisely and appreciating what they have. If you talk they WILL listen. This is just my observation but sometimes the more you give your kids, the more ungrateful they will be. Go figure.

My favorite places to shop are garage sales, thrift stores and Ebay. I know a lot of people are trying to buy only handmade gifts these day so you may want to spend some time over at Etsy as well.

Happy gift giving! Or better yet...find other ways to spread the joy of the season.