Lazy's Sandwhich Rules

Well, I never compliment myself but my friends tell me I certainly know how to make a sandwich.

Mrs. Elton in Emma

Doesn't Mrs. Elton crack you up?

I am not a sandwich lover. Not of the ordinary sandwich variety anyway. I cannot eat a sandwich from Subway or normally even a sandwich that was made by anyone but me. There are a few exceptions but in general I am a sandwich snob.

So here are my rules for making the perfect sandwich:

You have to start with fresh French bread. That means you can't buy your bread at Walmart because their bread tastes a week old. You cannot even buy your bread the day before. It has to be bought or baked the same day you are making your sandwich so it is fresh.

Your loaf of French bread must be sliced horizontally. This is vital. If you slice it vertically all the goodness will fall out of it and your sandwich is doomed.

Next you squirt a generous amount of spicy brown mustard on one side of the loaf. Whatever you do, don't spread it around or the sandwich will be ruined. On the other side you can add a little olive oil (not too much please) or homemade pesto if you have it but never, NEVER use mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Just don't.



Now you pile on your thinly sliced (tell them thin but not shaved) deli ham. I like Black Forest but I'm sure there are other good hams out there so I won't break up with you if you use another brand. Just don't forget that the ham goes on the mustard side, not the pesto side. Ham on mustard. Got it? And you cannot just lay it on the sandwich. Flat ham = yuck. It must be scrunched and smooshed on in just the right way. Doesn't it look all ruffly and fancy? All sandwiches like to look fancy.



After this things can pretty much go in any order you want. I like provolone or Swiss cheese. Use whatever you like. Veggies are good. Tomatoes, purple onion, mushrooms, sprouts, radishes, etc. If you want to get really crazy add crisp bacon.

Use any type of greens you want. I am partial to fresh basil but this time I used spinach and cilantro.



I always feel extra special if I have an avocado to eat with my sandwich but I like to just eat it off the plate because it never behaves itself on a sandwich like it should. And I always have to have more mustard for dipping. Stranger likes balsamic vinegar with his.



Not only does this sandwich taste wonderful but it is very easy to throw a few of them together for a crowd of people or pack for a picnic at the lake. You might say it is an organized sandwich choice.