How To Be A Lazy Kid

• Don't drag 50 pound bags of salt down to the basement when you're four years old just to show your parents how strong you are.
• Because then you will be in charge of dragging salt down to the basement for the rest of your life.
• Don't tell your Mom you're going to run down to the gas station that's 1.5 miles away and that she can pick you up on her way to the gym.
• Because then you will be getting yourself to Scouts and any other activity within a ten mile radius and no one will feel sorry for you. Even if there is a blizzard outside and you choose not to wear a coat, hat or gloves.
• When you are helping your Dad put shelves together don't tell him you could do it all by yourself.
• Because then your Dad will be taking a nap on the couch while you are putting the rest of the shelves together, all by yourself. Even if it takes you until 10:00 at night.

P.S.

• Don't insult your Mother by telling her you would rather die than let her cut your hair just because she's not an expert and it takes her a little while to get it even.
• Because then your Dad will take you somewhere to get your head shaved and you and your Mother will cry about it for months until it grows in enough that she isn't embarrassed to be seen with you in public.