Lock Your Doors People

If you own a house/hotel/condo and you ever see the Gallaghers coming do not answer your door and run the other way as fast as you can. Even if they look like nice people and they are friendly and have a valid credit card. They might seem harmless but they are home wreckers.

• If you rent your condo to them...


• They will plug your (broken before they got there) toilet and flood the bathroom.


• As a bonus the condo beneath you will also receive extensive water damage that you will have to pay for.


• Then they will fix your (broken before they got there) toilet (because they kind of needed to use it) you will be upset that they didn't wait till the plumber could look at it.


• Jerks.


• Old people will run screaming from your pool because they (the kids) were rude enough to get in the water and, I don't know, swim and splash.


• The nerve.


• When you buy a brand new purple couch please do not invite them over to see it.


• Because their two year old daughter will like it so much that she will pee all over it.


• Do not ever ask them to house sit for you while they are building their house.
  


• They will (in spite of their Mother's warnings) run down the hall, out the sliding door and onto the trampoline.


• They will have lots of fun doing this until one of them decides to see how funny it will be if he closes the screen door when it's sister's turn to go.


• It's too bad she is such a fast and hard runner.


• Too bad for her and the screen door.


• They will turn on your central humidifier.


• You know those dry Utah winters?


• And yes, flood your basement.


• Maybe you should have told them your humidifier has been broken for 27 years.


• That would have been nice.


• Just to be kind they will scrub the crap out of your toilet before they leave.


• Literally.


• With your scrubber that they didn't realize looks more like a barbed wire fence than a toilet brush.


• But I'm sure you won't have trouble finding a another pink toilet exactly like it in this decade.


• Just so you know, when you get that new toilet, you might want to buy a new toilet brush as well.


• They will remove every last bit of dog hair from your carpet and take it home with them in their clothes.


• (Sorry about that.)


• But I'm sure you know where you can get more.


• Last but not least, they will "organize" everything in your home while they are there.


• If they thought you didn't need something anymore then you probably didn't.
  


• Just send them the bill for anything that's missing.


• They might have broken it and swept it under the couch cushions.


• Oh no, that was were they hid the melting cherry Popsicles.