The Book Plan

We are being overrun by books! They are unorganized and they are everywhere.

I'm not sorry about my mission to buy all these books. I'm just sorry I don't have anywhere to put them.



Some day we will have beautiful and organized bookshelves to house them all but I'm too worried about food storage and getting my studio organized to think about bookshelves right now. In the mean time I need a plan.

Here's my plan. Watch out because it's really complicated. I have asked my kids to write their name and their age in the back of every book they read. Then when a book has both of their names in the back it will get boxed away either until we get new book shelves or Lovely starts reading chapter books. Is that an amazing plan or what? I think it will be fun to look back and see how old they were when they read all these books.

Homeschoolers tend to be weird about books. I go into their homes and they have rows of assorted bookshelves lining every wall. I don't have very much wall space in my home that doesn't have a window or a door in the way so I need to come up with something different.

My dream is to have Louis L'Amour bookshelves, 17 feet tall and two deep. He talked about his library in one of his books, Education of a Wandering Man, and I knew that was the secret to an organized library, bookshelves behind bookshelves. I would love to see a picture of them but Google didn't come up with anything for me. I've been designing some for our house (in my head) ever since. Of course we don't have 17 foot tall ceilings so we will have to work with what we have. I may have to turn the play room into a library in a few more years.

I wonder what I will do with all these books after my kids are grown and gone. I'm getting sad just thinking about it so I'd better stop. Having my kids gone today has made me a bit emotional. Not because I miss them or anything. I'm sure it's because I have gotten so much done that I wish they would stay gone for a couple more days. Not too long. Just long enough that I could actually start missing them. Is that too much to ask? To miss my kids once in a while?

Wonderful Opportunities for Raising Responsible Kids

This contest is closed. The winner of the book was Christine Rockwell. Congratulations Christine!

Opportunity is missed by most of us because it is dressed in coveralls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison

Our homeschool group invited Debbie Bowen to speak at one of our sharing nights for Mom's several months ago. She wrote a book called W.O.R.K., Wonderful Opportunities for Raising Responsible Kids. I made sure I went because teaching my kids to work around the house has been one of my big projects these last two years. It took about a year to really get into the swing of things and I learned a lot along the way, a lot of things I would have already known if I had just read Debbie's book first!!!

To save yourself the trouble of figuring it out the hard way like I did, pick up a copy of Debbie's book right now. Immediately! I wrote a few articles on the subject but her book goes more in depth and answers a lot of questions you might have as you go along.

Debbie is the Mother of ten so she has many years of experience in teaching children. She understands that it takes a family, not just a Mother, to run a household.

As the parent, you are not a soloist but rather the conductor of your own home
orchestra. You need not, in fact, you should not try to do all the work
yourself.

No matter what ages your children are it's never too late, or too early, to start teaching them capability, dependability, and responsibility and Debbie can show you where to start. She says delegation is the key to your sanity and she will lead you step by step through the process.

If you aren't already teaching your children to work you probably have many excuses including,

• I can do it faster myself.


• If I want it done right I have to do it myself.


• I find the work enjoyable.


• I'm a creature of habit.


• I'm not organized enough.


• I feel sorry for them.


• My children aren't capable.


• My children are too busy.


• My children complain.


• My children refuse to work.


• They're too old to change.


• My children expect to get paid.
  

Debbie answers all these concerns and more. I wish I had been given this book the day my first baby was born. It would have saved me a lot of trouble. First I had to learn that it wasn't my job to do everything for my children. That took about five years. And then I had to figure out how to teach them to do things for themselves. That has taken another three years. It's been a long road but I know from my experience that it's possible. People often ask me how I have time to do all the things I do. To me it doesn't seem like I do much but even so I couldn't do half of it without my children's help. I'm finding out that they are my greatest asset so I think I'll keep them around!

To win a free copy of Debbie Bowens book, W.O.R.K., leave a comment on this post telling me what your favorite and least favorite household chores are. Make sure you also leave contact information through your blog or e-mail so you don't miss out on your opportunity to win.

What Does Lazy Have in her Library?

So sorry about the down time again! I know I need to find another site host but I don't want to think about that right now so I'm just going to put up with it until I can't stand it anymore.

Instead I've been thinking about books, books, books. Every time I leave the house I want to stop at a thrift store or used book store so I can buy more for my new collection. Remember when I said I was typing up a list to take with me so I wouldn't buy the same books twice?

Well, I did make the list. I did print it out. And then I did forget it the next time I went shopping for books. I was so mad that I made sure I had it the next time I went out even though I promptly set it down at the first store I browsed and never did find it again. Then I was REALLY mad so I also forgot the list today when I went out on purpose just to buy books.

Have I learned my lesson yet? I hope so. I have an updated list printed and stashed in my planner so I will have it next time. I have also downloaded it to my site so I can access it from any computer. I have had several people ask me for it so here you go.

lazylibrary.doc (updated 1-27-08) Series of children's books that have several different authors are listed at the end. Some of our favorites have an asterisk. I even made a section of organizing books just for you. I've never read an uninspiring organizing book however. If you're looking for something you can start with your library.

Remember that it is just the beginning of a collection of classics of which I am in no way an expert. And not all of them are classic. I have gotten rid of the worst books we had but there are still some on my list that I wouldn't buy again and I will probably get rid of as we run out of room on our shelves.

As I'm shopping I look for books that I read and loved as a child or other well known classics. I also pick up any book that has an award such as the Newberry Medal or any book by the same author as an award winning book. Chances are it will be good too. I have also picked up a lot of historical fiction for children that the kids love and I buy almost any horse book or novel that I come across because my daughter loves horses.

If you're interested (and why wouldn't you be because it's so exciting?) you can find my reading list here. I'm as shocked as you are that I've kept it up.

Organize Your Bookshelves

I have been the library's highest volume customer for years. You would think they would kiss my hand when we walk up to the counter with our bags full of books but for some funny reason all we get are dirty looks and rude comments. I don't know what is wrong with those people when we are clearly doing our best to keep the library in business!

Back when both my kids were still into picture books we came home with an average of 50-60 books a week. To say my kids are avid readers is an understatement. It was quite a relief when both of them moved into longer chapter books. With all the reading they do I have never attempted to buy their books. Why should I spend money and waste storage space on books when that's what library's are for?

After this trip last year I said NO MORE!

Since then I have changed my mind. As my kids have gotten older they have come home with trashier and trashier books. I always picked out classic books for them but they would only read them after they were done with their Goose Bumps and alien books. Of course we had a lot of conversations about the difference between great books and not so great books but it wasn't sinking in. Who would read Little House on the Prairie when you could read Animorph? I don't want to fight with my kids about the books they read. They love to read and I don't want them to feel like I'm controlling every little aspect of their lives. I am of course but I want to do it as covertly as possible!

I am now on a mission to buy every classic book I can find and spend less time at the library. Since I'm still as cheap as ever that means I'm looking at thrift stores, used book stores and garage sales. My only problem is that I forget what books I already have and I've bought a couple books twice!

So now we come to the organizing part of this long post. This is a great project for sick people because I laid on the couch all morning while my kids brought me stacks of books. I typed up all the authors and titles and printed a copy to keep in my purse that I can reference when I'm shopping. I'll update it everytime we come home with a new stack of books.

I think we're going to need a lot more book shelves around here.

We've cut our library trips down to only twice a month and I have the kids reserve the books they want online. It saves us time and the kids do a lot less browsing.

Do you do something similar? How do you keep track of all your books?

A Life Less Cluttered

This give away is closed and the winner has been notified. Thank you for participating!

Whether we're talking about our homes or our schedules, most of us could live with A Life Less Cluttered and at some point most of us have wondered how, with all our shortcomings and weaknesses, we can make that happen. How do you face those fears? How do you build the kind of character it takes? How do you stay motivated to live the principles you've learned? We can all achieve the uncluttered life we're seeking and my good friend and professional organizer, Christine Rice, the Organizing Muse, is here to teach us how in her new book A Life Less Cluttered; Expert Secrets to Your Own Organizing Epiphany.

Christine sent me a copy of her book and I was happy to read it. So happy that I underlined something on almost every page! I'm sure she won't mind my using it as an outline for my organizing seminars for now on. That's how good it is. It helped me see some things about myself that I didn't even know I knew!

For instance, Christine talks about the labels we use in our lives whether we're labeling containers or people.

"Labels have to be meaningful and accurate in order to be helpful, and "slob'" or your own version of the same, is neither."

Before I first started getting organized nine years ago I probably called myself a slob 20 times a day, every day. It's funny how calling yourself a slob doesn't really help you get yourself more organized! It just makes you despise yourself every time you say it. I finally stopped beating myself up and started giving myself permission to change. Sometimes the old labels you're using don't allow for change, something we should give ourselves, and everyone around us, room to do.

"Becoming better organized is more about creating a new lifestyle than it is about clearing out clutter."

I think we all know that but we don't want to believe it. We want to take a magic pill that changes our life and makes everything easy. This is one of the reasons I don't like organizing shows on television. In what universe can you go into some one's house, get rid of the clutter, organize everything, and expect it to stay that way? It's not happening folks and we all know it so let's stop pretending it is!

Along with getting rid of clutter you have to make changes in your life; changes in the way you shop, the way you schedule your time and the way you handle your things. That is a lot of changing and it doesn't happen over night. It's the reason I started Smart Habit Saturday, a way for me and others to make positive changes in our lives.

If you are looking for your own organizing Epiphany you will enjoy Christine's book. Reading it may just change your life.

Good news! Christine is going to give away a free copy to one of you lucky Organizers out there. Just leave a comment telling me at least one positive label that you are going to start using to replace an old ineffective label. I'll go first...

I am efficient! I'm not a slob, I just like to keep busy and busy tends to get messy. I know if I slow down I can stay organized and work more efficiently.

I'll leave the comments open until some time on Sunday. I will notify you if you are the winner (make sure you leave me with a valid e-mail address) and Christine will mail you a book!

Keep checking back because I have more books to give away and also some fabulous Organizing Bags. You can't wait, can you???

Money...It's Not Just For Rich People

I listened to the CD and now I've read the book and my conclusion is that I picked the wrong hobby. Seven years ago I thought I needed to get organized to get my life in order and all along I could have been becoming a millionaire instead!

That's what Janine Bolon set out to do once she had a baby and left her career to become a stay at home mother. She decided she needed a hobby to keep her mind occupied because we all know how craziness sets in when you're home all day with an infant. She started reading books on becoming frugal and wealthy. Not only did she read them like I do but she actually implemented them in a way that I have never done. She implemented them so well that all her friends and neighbors thought they were poor and left sacks of food and clothing on her doorstep! Now I don't know if I want to live that frugally but I know I could be doing better than I am.

My husband has taught me a lot about cheapskatedness but I still have much to learn. My first project is going to be the shopping price book that Janine talks about in her book Money...It's Not Just For Rich People. It's a list of everything you buy at which stores and what prices. Then you can look through the weekly ads to make your shopping list. You may think you're getting a good deal by buying in bulk but how can you be sure until you do the math? Guess what my new addition to the Tomato is going to be? A calculator!

Stayed tuned to watch me become The Organized Millionaire!

Hey, do you want to do this with me? Read the book and we can do assignments out of it together.

Our quilt raffle is up to $579!

What Does It All Mean?

Edited - Thanks for the stories! Yes, Janine says you will get back in kind but you always get more than you give. I guess that means that if you give away Walmart clothes you will get Gap back and if you're giving away Gap then you will get back designer clothes that I don't even know the name of because I'm still shopping at Walmart and Gap.


Another thing Janine says though is that tithing is different than philanthropy. You have to give 10% of each. That is a lot of money to be giving away every month!! Do you think you could do it? We want to try but Stranger says we'll have to sell the house first or we'll go broke.

I have been listening to one particular seminar cd from the Thomas Jefferson Education Forum that Stranger and I attended last spring. Three times to be exact. Once myself, once with Victor and once with the whole family. We are all captivated by the money managing concepts of Janine Bolon, author of Money...It's Not Just for Rich People!

One thing Janine claims is that you have to give money away to get money. She says that once you give money away, within two weeks, money will come into your life. Victor wanted to test this out on Friday when we were at Walmart so he asked for some of his money to throw into an upside down umbrella that was there to raise money for Primary Children's hospital. I gave him 50 cents, he tossed it in, then ran off with his Dad while I sat and waited for them to finish working on my van.

Ok, now this is the unbelievable part. Not even two minutes later a women walked by me, turned around and asked, "Are you Victor's Mom?"

"I am."

"I thought so. I'm the one that ran the Fair Factor contest. I wanted to call you but I lost your phone number."

Here's where I get to tell you that after Victor won his $25 gift certificate that day he promptly lost it. I had reached for it, suggesting he give it to me so he wouldn't lose it but he angrily grabbed it away and said that he was putting it in the bottom of the stroller and he was NOT going to lose it! I watched him put the card back into its envelope and then I turned around while he apparently tossed it into the bottom of the stroller. When we got home later that day the envelope was there but the card wasn't in it. Very mysterious!

I didn't mention this little part of the Fair Factor story because he was embarrassed and upset about it. We called the Fair Factor lady the next day to see if they found the card while they were cleaning up but she said they hadn't seen it. The story continues...

"I called Golden West Credit Union who donated the prizes and they were going to give him another card but I didn't know how to get a hold of you. Call me on Monday and you can come pick it up."

Unbelievable! Now Victor wants to give money to everyone he passes on the street and so do I!!!

If you've had an experience where you've given money away and then shortly afterward money has come into your life, I want to hear about it. Is it just a coincidence or do you think the universe really works that way? I, for one, do not believe in coincidences.

BTW There is an article at GNMParents that Victor and I wrote together about his Fair Factor experience. As if you haven't had enough of Worm Guts and Crickets Brains. Did I mention that he is writing a monthly article over there now? I'm so proud!

Reading List

New titles are highlighted in red.

Some people get confused about what classics are. Charlotte Mason calls them Living Books. They are literature that brings truth, nobility and beauty into your life. We all have to decide for ourselves which books are our classics because they may be different for each person.

This is my reading list for all you fellow readers. I'm sure I won't be able to keep it updated but I'm going to try because I want to remember all these great books I'm reading.

I have found that I need to get my own education if I'm going to be able to be an example to my children so I try to get in at least two hours of reading a day but it is hard with small children running amok! Some of the books I read need my full concentration so I can't read them if it's noisy and I don't get much out of them if I try to read ten minutes here or there (1400 page Les Miserables anyone?). Hence my goal of getting to bed by nine so I can read for an hour and a half. Some day I will be able to get up earlier to get more reading done.

I have also changed my workouts at the gym to get more reading time. Instead of trying to run for long periods, I run as fast as I can on the treadmill for twelve minutes until I'm sweaty and exhausted and then I peddle on the bike for 30-60 minutes while I read, depending on how good the book is! Of course it's difficult to underline and make notes this way. I don't know about you but my handwriting is very poor when I'm peddling a bike.

For a book to make it on my reading list it has to have been recommended by someone I respect and trust and have the potential to impact my life for good. I don't have time to read anything these days purely for entertainment purposes but there are plenty of educational books that are very entertaining. For example, Uncle Tom's Cabin was very entertaining and also life changing. If you haven't read it then you must start tomorrow. I think it is the best book I have ever read and by best I mean the most captivating, full of wonderful characters to learn from and changed me from the inside out.

I'm Reading Today
7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I am going to Read Tomorrow
The Constitution of The United States
The Federalist Papers

I've read Lately
The Twenty-One Balloons by William Pène Du Bois (April 2008)
Austenland by Shannon Hale (April 2008)
Essay on Civil Government by Locke (April 2008)
The Ultimate Gift (April 2008)
The Power of Positive Parenting (April 2008)
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemmingway (March 2008)
Hamlet by William Shakespeare (March 2008)
Ability Development from Age Zero by Shinichi Suzuki (March 2008)
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (March 2008)
Essay on Education of Children by Montaigne (March 2008)
The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs (February 2008)
The Prince byMachiavelli (February 2008)
Animal Farm by George Orwell(February 2008)
The Confessions of St. Augustine, books 1-8 (February 2008)
The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom (January 2008)
Rebecca by Dame Daphne Du Maurier (January 2008)

What I Read in 2007 (May-December)
The Power of Positive Thinking (December 2007)
Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter (December 2007)
The Abolition of Man, C.S. Lewis (December 2007)
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck(December 2007)
Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank B. Gilbreth (December 2007 to the kids)
Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki (December 2007)
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (December 2007)
Raising Musical Kids by Robert A. Cutietta (December 2007)
Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers by Patrick Kavanaugh (November 2007)
Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L'Amour (November 2007)
Carry On Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham (October 2007)
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexacre Dumas pere (October 2007)
The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper (October 2007
A Life Less Cluttered by Christine Rice (September 2007)
Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andereola (September 2007)
Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare (September 2007)
Must read! Nurtured by Love by Shinichi Suzuki (August 2007)
The Peace Giver by James L. Ferrell (August 2007)
The greatest Salesman in the world by OG Mandino (July 2007)
Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin (July 2007)
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (July 2007)
Lonesome Gods by Louis L'Amour (July 2007)
Finished!!! Unabridged Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (July 07) Can we have a party to celebrate?
The Greatest Salesman in the World by OG Mandino (July 07)
The Virginian by Owen Wister and Gary Scharnhorst (July 07)
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder (June 07)
Must Read! Little Britches by Ralph Moody (March and again in May 07)
Must Read! Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe (May 07)
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (March 07 for the tenth time)
Albert Schweitzer : An Adventurer for Humanity by Harold Robles (May 07)
A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Van DeMille (April 07)
The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me by Richard Paul Evans (April 07)
A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion by Oliver DeMille, Rachel DeMille and Diann Jeppson (April 07)
Queen of the Castle by Lynn Bowen Walker (April 07)
The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute (May 07)
The One Minute Manager and The One Minute Manager Builds High Performing Teams by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson (May 07)

Future Classics List or Things I Want To Study

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John, Stasi Eldredge
Christy by Catherine Marshall
Classical Kids
Crunchy Cons by Rod Dreher
Euclides Elements
Gardeners Art Through the Ages
Great Books of the Western World (if anyone has these could you please donate them to my cause?)
Handel's Water Music
John Quincy Adams
Keys of the Kingdom by A. J. Cronin and Joseph Bottum
Launching a Leadership Revolution by Chris Brady and Orrin Woodward
Lorenzo's Oil (movie)
Phantom Tollbooth Norton Juster
Positive Personality Profiles by Robert A Rohm
Seven Habits by Stephen R. Covey (I started this a long time ago but never finished it.)
Shakespeare
Surrendering to Motherhood by Iris Krasnow
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Annen Klauser

Future Classics for Kids

Calico Bush by Field
Calico Captive

Future Crafting Classics for Kids

Pelle's New Suit by Elsa Beskow
Warm As Wool by Scott Russell Sanders
The Goat in the Rug by Charles L. Blood
The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau
The Josefina Story Quilt by Eleanor Coerr
The Keeping Quilt
The Button Box by Margarette S. Reid
The Paper Crane by Molly Bang
Yoko's Paper Cranes by Rosemary Wells
Ox-Cart Man by Donald Hall
The Chalkbox Kid by Clyde Robert Bulla
I Am An Artist by Pat Lowery Collins
Homeless Bird by Gloria Whelan
Emma's Rug by Allen Say

TJEd Five Pillar Classic List
(I've already read many of these.)

Austen, Pride and Prejudice (I read it once a year!)
Bastiat, What is Seen and What is Not Seen*
Johnson & Johnson, The One Minute Teacher
Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Dickens, Great Expectations
Frank, Alas Babylon
Gardner, Multiple Intelligences*
Gatto, The 7 Lesson School Teacher* (2006)
Harward, A Market-Based Education
Holt, How Children Learn (2006)
Kavanaugh, Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers
Lewis, The Abolition of Man
Noebel, Understanding the Times
Hugo, Les Miserables (currently reading)
Shakespeare, five plays
Stowe, Uncle Tom's Cabin (May 2007)
Strauss and Howe, The Fourth Turning
Thoreau, Walden
Wister, The Virginian (currently reading)

(* = articles found in the books Bastiat, Essays on Political Economy & Gatto, Dumbing Us Down)

Classics from my Past
(I'll add to this as I think of them.)

Anything by Jane Austen
Bonds that Make us Free by C. Terry Warner
Chickens in the Headlights (for kids) (06)
Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl (07)
Debt Proof Your Kids by Mary Hunt
How To Talk So Kids Can Learn by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole
The Not So Big House by Sarah Susanka
No Contest by Alfie Kohn (05)
The Ultimate Fit or Fat by Covert Bailey
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (06)

Queen of the Castle

Let me start off by saying, European Hot Chocolate??? I have never heard of such a thing! Stranger was a little scared of it but the kids and I sucked it down and, yes it's true, I licked the pot clean. (I'm just glad you weren't there to see it.)

I was excited when Lynn Bowen Walker asked me to review Queen of the Castle on my blog but then as soon as I said yes I was worried about what I had gotten myself into. I didn't need one more thing to do! But then the book arrived and who could resist it? It's easy to read! It's fun! It's got chocolate! No, not actually in the book. You have to cook the recipes yourself, dang it.

Lynn had obviously picked the right person to read her book because I could relate to so much of it. She is preaching my gospel! We are all different but we all have a job to do so let's do our best. We can know that we have Lynn to get us headed in the right direction! She offers great insights on everything from housework and parenting to gardening and holidays. There is something for everyone. This book is full of all the advice that your friends and family want to tell you but don't or if they did you wouldn't listen. Somehow though, when Lynn says it, it clicks and sounds so easy and logical.

"In truth every woman is a homemaker, whether she wants to be or not. Young or old, single or married, childless or with a house full of kids, if she has a home, be it three thousand luxurious square feet or a single-room apartment, she is most likely the one in charge of keeping it running." And what woman doesn't like being in charge???

I read Queen of the Castle a couple months ago and let me tell you how difficult it was to keep it to myself until now. After every chapter I was thinking, "Oh, that was great. I have to blog about that!" Now that I've done my time and my review I can lose control and start quoting Lynn willy nilly in all my posts.

There will be the, "Taking care of our families can be exhausting work," post.

And the, "attempting fewer activities so we can better focus on those that matter," post.

Not to mention the, "Your feet may be planted in front of the kitchen sink, but your mind is free to travel the world," post.

I'm even going to be quoting her quotes.

"I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it." Benjamin Franklin.

Lynn has done the work in writing her book. All we have to do is read it and let the inspiration wash over us. We all have the potential to become great leaders, teachers and nose wipers. Of course we do! Did you doubt it?

My One Minute Mission

Check out my One Minute Mission over at GNMParents today.

If those One Minute people were really smart they would write a new series just for Moms:

One Minute Organizing

One Minute Potty Training

One Minute Laundry

One Minute Meals

One Minute Bedtimes

One Minute Musician

One Minute Fitness

One Minute Meditation

One Minute Pool Opening

One Minute House Cleaning

One Minute Fitness

One Minute Meditation

One Minute Naps for Mom

One Minute Seamstress

One Minute Languages

One Minute Sleeping

One Minute Out the Door

One Minute Scrapping

Any more?

Let's collect more ideas for them. What One Minute skill would you like to have?

Punished by Rewards

If Punished by Rewards and No Contest by Alfie Kohn are two of my favorite books why haven't I posted about them before? Oh I know, because I'm lazy. But I do mention them in my article today at GNMParents.

Let me preface it by saying that a Scout leader’s job is very difficult. I have first hand knowledge of this fact because I did it for 10 months and hated just about every minute of it! I know, I'm terrible!

I think it would have been fun if it hadn’t just been way more than I could handle. Instead of the 5-6 boys that the guidelines suggest, we had two leaders trying to control 14 eight year olds who really just wanted to be running wild at every moment. We also had a handicapped boy who needed the full attention of one of us or else he wasn’t able to participate.

Don’t even get me started on planning activities and trying to keep track of all their achievements and awards! I know some people have the patience and skill for a job like that but I obviously do not. All Hail to you Scout Leaders out there!

Now go read my article!

The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me

I had the greatest night last night! I met Richard Paul Evans (Author of The Christmas Box), got his autograph and was actually dorky enough to ask for a picture with him!!! As luck would have it my hair was in a ponytail, I had no make up on, and the photo turned out terrible but who cares? I got my picture taken with a famous billionaire!

I went to hear him talk about his book, The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me about life and wealth and he was an adorably fabulous speaker. Afterwards he presented his new multi-level-marketing business and I was pretty shocked to find out that he is doing something like that. Maybe you have heard of Bookwise? I'm sure people will be making millions from it but that is not how I want to make my millions so I passed.

I actually read his Millionaire book last year and I thought it had some great ideas in it which I promptly forgot to follow through with. One of them was that he started collecting silver coins when he was a boy. Seeing all of them stacked up in a jar made him want to buy more and more of them. He was able to pay for his mission and put himself through college all with his silver coins. I wanted to help Victor start collecting silver coins but I never did. I know he would love it because he is obsessed with money! Will you remind me to do this please?

Richard doesn't suggest putting yourself on a budget which he says is worse than dieting. He said that everyone knows that dieting makes you fat. Hello! Haven't I been telling you that for years now? He said that just hearing the word "budget" makes you want to eat! So thankfully no budget but I need to know how much money I have, I need to know where it comes from and I need to know where it is going. How sad that I don't know any of these things! Luckily Stranger is a good saver and he's very frugal so we have never been in debt for anything besides our house but I know we could be doing better. This is going on my Smart Habits list!

Speaking of Smart Habit Saturday I had a book autographed just for you and I will be giving it away next month as a door prize. Aren't you so excited!

The Wisdom of a Nine Year Old

I received a book in the mail the other day. Victor said, “Great! I want to read it!”

“I don’t think you’d be interested in it. It’s a book for parents.

“Yes I would.”

“It’s not a story book. It’s a learning book and you probably wouldn’t like it.”

“What kind of learning book?”

“Oh, it’s about how to be a better person and a better Mother and wife.”

“Well, why would you need that? You’re already the best Mother in the world.”

“Thanks! But I need to learn to have more patience with my kids sometimes.”

“Well if you could find a book like that then it would be the last book you’d ever have to read.”

Bonds That Make Us Free

I read the most amazing book a couple weeks ago, Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner. I read a lot of amazing books. They really change my life, some of them for as long as two weeks. Really. It’s not like I don’t get anything out of them. I usually will learn one or two things from every book that really stick with me and I am able to put into practice.

But this book was different. I’m glowing. A complete life change is imminent. I'm just sure of it. It had all the secrets in it for being the kind of person you have always wanted to be but you could never figure out how. I talked to my sister about it on the phone.

Me - “I really feel different after reading this book. I feel like a whole new person.”

Her - “Yes, but are you going to feel that way two weeks from now?”

Me - “Well, I’ll just make myself read it every two weeks then.”

Here’s what I got out of it. You get promptings to do certain good things. When you don’t follow those promptings then you are going against what you believe is right. Since we don’t like thinking we are doing the wrong thing then we justify what we did in our minds. In other words, we have to make someone else appear wrong in our minds so that we can feel better about ourselves. Eventually we start believing the lies we tell ourselves which is that all our problems are someone else’s fault and everyone else is making us miserable when in fact we are making ourselves miserable by not doing what we know we should. Make sense? I know. My book reviews are so helpful. I should probably just stick to my famous, “I really liked this book. You should read it.”

Since reading this book I’ve been trying extra hard to follow every prompting I receive. It’s amazing how many there are every single day and it’s amazing how many of them I don’t want to follow. Even the easy ones like, “You’re baby is playing in the stickers. You really should stop writing and paste stickers all over her body. It would make her so happy.”

Me – “But I don’t want to stop writing. I’m almost finished and then I’ll play with her.”

Prompting – “But she’s tired and you really should either be playing with her or getting her ready for bed.”

Me – “Well I can’t get her ready for bed because her pajamas, sheets and blanket are in the wash. She’s just being an annoying little pest. Why can’t she go play with her brother and sister? Why does she have to keep getting into everything and making a mess?” See how I start blaming her because I’m not doing what I know I should be doing?

The small promptings are just as hard to follow as the big ones. I don’t want to do any of them. I just want to be a lazy do nothing. Why? If a prompting is telling me to do something good then ultimately doing it will make me happier won’t it? Then why do I choose to be lazy and unhappy? That is a good question. Can you please answer it for me?

This morning I found a plate in the sink with a big chip on the edge. I didn’t raise my voice to the offender but I said rudely, “Can’t you be more careful? That was one of my favorite plates. I loved that plate,” pause and feel like an idiot. Then follow a prompting to say, “But not as much as I love you. I know you would never break it on purpose. It must have been an accident,” feeling much better about myself. “Just don’t ever let it happen again!” See how this book has changed me? I am a much better Mother today than I was last month. Aren’t you all so happy for me?

Did you see what I just did right there? See how it was all about me? Did I feel bad that I had made my son feel bad? A little, but mostly I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I do the right thing and feel like such a righteous, magnificent Mother and I want all of you to congratulate me for it.

Apparently I missed the whole point of the book and I need to read it again. I need to buy the book and underline every sentence in it because my sister was right. It’s been two weeks and the glow is gone.

Debt Proof Your Kids

*Updated

I started a new salary system for my kids four months ago. I really want them to learn to save and to spend wisely while they’re young and mistakes are cheap. I never learned to manage money and I have made some very costly mistakes as a result. Just ask Stranger. I’m sure he can tell you about each and every one of them.

In the past I have tried giving the kids an allowance and letting them spend it however they wanted but the first time we went shopping and they wanted to spend $2 for a giant candy pacifier I started hyperventilating. I think I faked an aneurysm and ran everyone out of there as fast as I could. My obsessive compulsive disorder just wouldn’t let me give up control of their spending!

I’ve read every book about money and kids that I could find at the library. Finally I found one that seemed to have a solution that would work for us, Debt Proof Your Kids by Mary Hunt. She has a new edition that is coming out soon.

She gave her kids a monthly salary along with a list of purchases they would be responsible for and then she let them loose. It was their job to budget, save, and spend as they wished with their salary and responsibilities growing every year on their birthday. She started this program when they turned 12 so I had to modify it a bit to suit my younger kids.

Here’s how my plan works:

-I bought them each a receipt book to use for checks. Instead of the kids carrying money, they write me a check and I pay for items. No check = no spending. Best of all, no losing cash.
-They have to balance their money in a check register so they can see how much money they have, how much they’re spending and what they’re spending it on.
-They get $10 a month and they are responsible for paying for any luxury items they desire, treats, toys, video games, etc.
-They are required to pay 10% of their salary to tithing and put 10% into their long-term savings.
-They can spend the rest with my “guidance”.

My guidance means they can’t spend money on something dangerous, illegal or immoral. I don’t let them make impulse buys that cost more than a dollar and I’m teaching them to decide what they want and then to shop around for the best price. I have been pleasantly surprised by how frugal they have been with the little amount of money I’ve been giving them. When I was paying for stuff they wanted everything they saw. Now that it's their money they are much more discriminating.

Persistence decided she wanted to buy her own water bottle. I suggested a couple criteria: a wide enough opening to easily wash it out and something less than $5. For two months, everywhere we went (thrift stores, garage sales, shopping centers) she was looking at water bottles. Finally she found a coffee mug with a tight fitting lid for $1 at Albertsons. It was even her favorite color, brown. I was very proud. Two months is a long time to delay gratification when you’re an energetic six year old!

Victor on the other hand has no trouble saving money. He never has. His only weakness is buying junk food at the gym but even this he doesn’t do very often. As of today he has $38 in his checking account and almost $600 in his savings. He always puts more than 10% of his salary in savings. It’s usually more like 40%. It might have something to do with the fact that he is miserly and that we have always matched anything the kids put in their savings accounts. We just have one teeny tiny stipulation. They have to use the money for college or missions. If they use it for anything else then we keep our half. How’s that for total manipulation? Nevertheless, Victor loves putting his money in savings and spending a dollar every now and then for a treat at the gym.

I think they’re both due for a raise soon.

What we’re doing now is just practice for when they’re older. In a few years I’ll do like Mary did, give them the cash and send them on their Mary way. Along with more control of the funds, they will receive a larger salary and a longer list of responsibilities. And we’ll all live happily debt free after.

*I have discovered another great feature of this system. Any time I owe the kids money I just tell them to write it in their checkbooks. I don't have to find the cash or try to remember to give it to them later. When the kids get money for birthdays and such I have them give it to us and they write it in the checkbooks. I love not having to worry about them losing cash. The down side is that your kids might never learn how to count money unless you garage sale like we do. That's an all cash system baby!

The Ultimate Fit or Fat

This is something I posted on a different blog but I decided I wanted it here:

We had a terrible day garage sale-ing on Saturday. We only had an hour to spend at it and we used 45 minutes of it stuck in a traffic jam! We were so disappointed but we managed to find a couple garage sales before we had to head home.

I didn’t find anything good. I thought. Well, nothing as good as the dead, dried out sea horse that Kate bought for 20 cents. Who could top that! All I came home with was a dumb exercise book that I’ve read before but I bought it because I had to buy something and I like the author. It’s Covert Bailey’s The Ultimate Fit or Fat. I came home and read the whole thing last night. Covert did some programs for PBS some years back that you can find at the library. They are very entertaining.

I guess it wasn’t so dumb because I am so inspired by this book! I’m going to start his easier than easy program tomorrow which is basically this: do 12 minutes of aerobic exercise (add your warm up to that) at a moderate level, six days a week. This causes your muscles to produce fat-burning enzymes that take off the weight. The body becomes a fat burner instead of a fat storer. So what if that’s not a word.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book. Read them and then get it from the library and do this with me!

“You can’t win at the weight loss game by dieting.”

“The truth is, most fat people eat less than skinny people.”

“Aerobic exercise is the most efficient way to remove the marbling fat, which in turn is the most efficient way to change your metabolism so you won’t get fat anymore.”

“There seems to be something magical about doing twelve minutes of an aerobic exercise.”

“The next logical question is, if twelve minutes at the training heart rate is good, wouldn’t twenty-four minutes be better? The answer is definitely yes. But the first twelve minutes produce a much more lasting effect than the second twelve minutes.”

“Don’t exercise with a fit friend.”

“Start so slowly that people make fun of you.”

“Don’t confuse work with exercise. The work you do may cause the heart to beat faster, but you rarely sustain the work long enough to get any benefits.”

“If I were extremely fat, I would give up job, housework, whatever, and I would walk three to four hours per day.”

“People who are eager to lose weight sometimes want instant results, but rapid weight loss by any method only augments the tendency to develop a fat person’s chemistry. Fasting is another stress that has been shown to make you fatter while you think you are getting thinner.”

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

I have had every intention of writing about my new Gospel of Child Rearing but it hasn’t happened and I think I know why.

1. I’m not a writer
2. Anything I write that may be wise, clever, or funny is wholly accidental
3. I could never do the book justice
4. Just go read the book for yourself

This book is amazing. It will contradict everything you ever thought you knew about raising children. In the past three days my patience has doubled (wait a minute that might not be saying much) and I find my self reasoning (or trying to!) with my children instead of ordering them about. Coincidentally I also stopped eating sugar, again, three days ago. Yet…the book. It’s insightful. It’s enlightening. It’s…just read it already. In fact, read all of his books. I am. .

I’ll leave you with my favorite idea from the book. “…if they do something we don’t like, we’ll make them suffer in order to change their behavior. The only remaining question is how we’ll make them suffer: by causing physical pain through hitting or by causing emotional pain through enforced isolation. And both are based on getting kids to focus on the consequences of their action to themselves, which is, of course, very different from raising children to think about how their actions will effect other people.”

“When we punish, in other words, we lead children to ask, “What do they (the grown-ups with the power) want me to do, and what will happen to me if I don’t do it?” Notice that this is a mirror image of the question evoked in a home or classroom in which children are promised a reward for being good: “What do they want me to do, and what will I get for doing it?” Both questions are entirely about self-interest. And both are completely different from what we’d like kids to ask themselves – for example, “What kind of person do I want to be?”

What kind of person do you want your child to be?

Teach Your Kids To Organize Themselves

How To Talk So Kids Can Learn by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

I love this book! I happen to be a self-help book junkie, especially books about parenting, learning and education for my kids. You know when you read something and you think, “That is a great idea, I should really do that with my kids!” And then you don’t think another thing about it. Or you think about it but you never manage to accomplish it?

This book had so many great ideas in it and I found myself using them without any effort. Lovely got her jammies tonight after I asked her to and I said, “You did it! You got your jammies all by yourself!” Instead of, “Good girl! Now keep doing what other people want you to because your little self-esteem depends upon it. If you don’t then you will be a bad girl and no one will ever love you.” Or something like that.

Driving home tonight after playing tennis with Victor he said, “Well, we need to go get me a treat.”

“Why?”

“Because I played tennis so well.” (Just so you know, I do NOT buy my kids treats for rewards. Other people in the family do but not me!)

“You already have your reward. You’re a good tennis player.”

“Well you never told me that tonight.” “Well?” He says.

“Well, I noticed you got most of your serves in. You only double faulted a couple times. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Yes. I am a good server. I practice my serves every week at my lesson.”

That is one of the points of the book. Instead of judging what people do (you are a good server) you describe it (you got your serves in). Then the person can evaluate and praise themselves. They find their reward within instead of looking for it elsewhere. I like that.

We spent the entire day looking for a library book that the kids lost. Finally I told the kids I was tired of constantly looking for books and I wondered if we could figure out a way to keep better track of them. They said they were tired of it too.

I sat them down with a paper and pencil and had them give me some ideas for solutions. Here’s what they came up with:

1. Don’t get anymore books
2. Put them away when you’re done
3. don’t take them anywhere else but the living room
4. don’t get them wet (this after the baby put a book in the sink and the kids ran the faucet over it.)
5. ask before you read them
6. don’t color on them (Persistence is so appalled when she see books that are scribbled on. It doesn’t occur to her that a baby did it. She figures other 6 year olds are glee