A Few of My Favorite Things

1. Climbing up and down a ladder in the middle of the night when I'm nine months pregnant to get to the smoke detector on the twelve foot high ceiling in our entryway because my husband doesn't love me enough to be home to do it for me.
2. Staying up all night listening to a smoke detector that won't shut up regardless of the fact that I put a new battery in it.
3. Taking the smoke detector down and running it over with my van a few times so I can finally get some sleep.*
4. Trying to eat an entire pineapple in one day.
5. Not being able to eat anything salty for three days because I have a crippled tongue.
6. Scrubbing every metal thing in my home with steel wool until it shines and my fingers bleed. I may not feel like doing anything else but apparently I can't survive without clean cookie sheets, sinks and drinking fountains. Shiny metal is really important when you are getting ready to have a baby. Baby clothes, car seats and cribs? Not so important.
7. Reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and finding out I could be 5000 times more effective if I exercised initiative, was smart, aware and sensitive to others.
8. Deciding that learning to be satisfied with my ineffectivness is easier than trying to change my lazy, incompetent and selfish personality.
9. When Daddy Drill Sergeant comes home just in time to make the kids clean up all their messes and send them to bed so I can be ineffective, lazy, incompetent and selfish in peace and quiet.

* #3 May not have actually happened but it would have been one of my favorite things if it had.

Time To Get Back To The Real World

I'm done. For a year now I have been talking about designing a checkbook to go with my Mom's First Credit Union system and I have finally done it. As soon as I have some kids test it for me I will print them out for you, my lovely blog readers, to try if you want. It is not fancy but it works and it will be a lot easier than drawing lines in notebooks like we have been doing.

I spent the morning with the kids and then at 3:00 I tried to lock myself in my studio to work on it except that my studio doesn't have a lock. So instead of peace and quite I helped children with HTML and sewing purses and playing with dollies while I worked. I finally drug myself to bed at midnight but Stranger stayed up till 4 a.m. figuring out a few last details for me. (At least that's what he claims.) We are both clueless when it comes to editing software. Every time I ask him how he did something on the computer so I can do it for myself next time he says, "I don't know. I just tried a bunch of things until it worked." Isn't that so helpful?

Kind of like how sometimes I'm typing and instead of inserting text my computer starts overtyping my words. This has happend enough times that you would think I would remember how to fix it, but no. It always takes me ten minutes of searching help features to find out that I accidentally pushed the "Insert" button on my keyboard. I'm sure I am the only person in the universe that does this.

I guess people are going to want to eat around here and I really should maybe shower and change out of my pajamas some time today. Although I wouldn't want to disappoint the FedEx man. He really likes my pink flowered stained pajama pants when he stops by to deliver Stranger's very important work/get them every day/annoying documents.

Competitive Birthing

Sign me right up for that please.

WARNING: this post contains sarcasm

My brother heard through the family tree that we were expecting and sent me an email today. (Yes, that's right. I forgot to call him but I don't feel too bad about it because what are blogs for anyway?)

Here is a recent NPR story about why women want larger families:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12513004
I think you might like it.

I had to reply, yes, that's right. We're having another one because we're so rich and we just don't know what else to do with all the money. How else are people going to know we're better than them if we don't have more kids? Four is the new two in rich circles and four is the new six in Mormon circles so we must be "in" on all sides. My brother only has two kids. How embarassing.
BTW, I was at a home school planning meeting where one of the moms volunteered another mom for a job and she said, "Oh she has plenty of time to do that, she only has five kids." Much to Stranger's disappointment that is one group where we will never fit in with our less than ten child family. How embarassing.

Face to Face with Greatness

We're home from our little weekend excursion into the land of educational seminars. I just love how these things make me realize how big the world is and how clueless I am about all of it. You think someone like me might become discouraged by knowing nothing about anything but that just gives me hope. Either I'm too stupid to know better or there is only room for improvement.

I did learn a few things this weekend.

The more you know, the more you learn and the more you learn the less you know.

by Me

Just think about it for a minute and you'll see that it's true.

Another thing I learned is that 1 can never equal 1 and that math isn't about numbers and quantities. I thought it was just a rumor that was floating around but apparently it's true; math is about symbolism. (My friend Sarah just taught me how to use a semi-colon. Did I do good?)

And finally I learned the difference between a teenager and a young adult and I'm mad that all society seems to be raising these days is teenagers.

A teenager is a post-pubescent who acts like a child and a young adult is a post-pubescent who is trying to act like an adult. Hmmm, now that I think of it, I might still be a teenager myself.

Let's end this post on that positive note.

The Perfect Day

You know the perfect amount of sick where you have to stay in bed or you get light headed but you're not so sick that you can't read a book or play games in bed with your kids? Washing dishes is a no but eating ice cream is a definite yes. That's the exact kind of sickness you have to love. Of course you're laying in bed thinking about all the things you need to get done but once you're feeling better you wonder why you didn't just enjoy the Perfect Cold while you had it.

What is even more perfect is when you stagger out of bed (after sleeping in) to see what the girls are doing and you find your 7 year old cooking eggs for your two year old. At that point you know you are in good hands so you spend the rest of the morning in the bathtub while they watch a movie.

Then later when your 7 year old comes in to check on you and you ask her where her sister is and she says she just put her down for a nap, you start thinking that you will get sick more often. But not just any kind of sick. The Perfect Cold kind of sick.

You know you had a perfect day when you wake up the next morning and find this on your door.
It's the kind of suprise that makes your remember why you had kids. Not that you ever forgot, oh no. It's just that sometimes it's good to be reminded.

When's The Last Time Your Dentist Popped by for a Visit?

Mine did yesterday. How weird is that? The thing that makes it even weirder is that I used to date him. And the thing that makes it REALLY weird is that my seven year old confessed to me last year that she wants to marry him when she grows up. Weird.

Anyway, we've always had one of those relationships where we visit every six months at our check-up but then after we built our house he kept saying he should stop by some time to see where we lived and then all of a sudden he did! Weird.

Luckily he was polite enough to give us an hour warning so we could pick up the fallout from the day. I have Stranger and the kids trained pretty well. The kids get so excited about any kind of company that they will work like, well, like little kids who are excited that company is coming. We homeschool so every knows that they must be starved for socialization. Oh and Stranger is starved for it too so that's why he helps.

Anyway, once everything was looking as good as it can be when you have five foot high weeds leading to your front door and your garage floor is covered with chicken poop because someone forgot to shut it the other day, Victor said, "Wouldn't it be funny if you told us that someone was coming over just to get us to clean the house really fast and then you said, 'Just kidding!"

"Ya, that would be so funny!"

Don't think I haven't thought of that one already. I wouldn't want to turn into the mother who cried "company" but I'm not above using it if it ever becomes necessary. Like when I need the house picked up so I can take blog photos. Funny how sometimes when you think company is coming, they don't actually come. Not that that's ever happened at my house.

The thing that made the whole visit not weird was that we had a great time discussing the meaning of life with Dr. Dentist and he brought three scrumptious desserts from a fabulous restaurant for us to share. Of course we put the kids to bed before we broke them out but we may have saved them a bite or two to enjoy later. After all, they did all that cleaning and everything. It should be worth at least three bites of a chocolate fudge brownie. But not the lime cheesecake because I accidentally ate all of that one after Dr. Dentist left. Aren't dentists supposed to tell you not to eat sugar? Apparently not if they are the cool "stop by for a visit with a bag full of desserts" kind of dentist.

Get Organized You Lazy Bum!

Writing articles for the local small town newspaper has been really fun in a creepy kind of way. I cringe whenever someone says, "Oh, you're Lara Gallagher? You're the one who writes those articles for the newspaper?" My eye brows try to jump off my face and my voice gets really tiny as I squeak out a, "Yeeeeees?" Then I wait to find out if they're going to tell me what an idiot I am for telling the world all my deep dark organizing secrets or if they're going to start crying over some inspiring (don't laugh) thing I wrote.

Actually, none of those things has ever happened but there is always a first so I am trying to be mentally prepared. Most people just describe a particular article that they liked and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

People do send me e-mails saying that such-n-such article I wrote made them cry but I tend to think they're fibbing to me. Ok. Maybe they thought about crying but did they actually cry? ("My eyes bleeding!" as my two year old would say.)

Some day I want to see some real honest to goodness, "Thanks for sharing your organizing story because if you can do it then clearly everyone in the entire universe is capable of getting organized and realizing that has changed my life," kind of tears.

Today at the park a friend told me that she was sitting in an organizing class given by her Church when the teacher pulled out one of my articles and started reading from it.

Can you believe someone actually quoted me?

No.

I simply cannot believe that.

If it is true then I hope it was something really profound like, "Your house isn't too small. You just have too much crap in it," or, "Get that junk room cleaned out you lazy bum!" Oh wait. I didn't post those in the newspaper. Those were pep talks I was giving myself yesterday.

Well, now that I've written them down, feel free to quote me as much as you like and then the next time I see you in town we can cry and hug each other while we share touching stories about how we can finally love ourselves now that our closets are organized by color.

Snort.

Happy Independence Day!

Sometimes I forget what this blog is all about. ME! Who cares about organizing. Don't you just want to read more about my exciting life?

Like how there was a sign at my gym that read, "We will be closed on the 4th of July to celebrate the 4th of July." Seriously. If you can't laugh at other people then what good are they?

And then there was tonight when Stranger was telling Victor how we came up with his name. I forgot all about this but apparently we flushed the toilet, listened really hard and that's what we named our first born. I think you had to be there so just trust me that it was funny with the sound effects and all.

Man I love firework pictures. Don't you? Thanks for the photos Victor. Go ahead and put seventy five cents in your check book but next time can you get one of the big red heart with the arrow shooting through it? How do they do that?

My addiction these days is chicken quesadillas made with pepper jack cheese on whole wheat tortillas. If that doesn't sound good to you then you can just go to bed without dinner because anyone who could get sick of them after only eating them every day for a month obviously has a problem.

Speaking of eating disorders, do you know what you do when you have a house guest for a week who is a picky eater and won't touch anything that's not related to a bagel? You give him his very own loaf of bread and tell him to have at it. Then you watch his eyes light up like it's Independence day all over again. I didn't know whole grains could do that to a kid.

I'm Famous!

Guess what happened this week? Michelle at Scribbit interviewed me for her blog! Can you believe it?? She is amazing and so sweet and we all know she is taking over the world one blog at a time! I am not kidding about that either. When she runs for president I am going to vote for her. Do you think she'll let me come and be the official White House Organizer?

Last month Michelle asked me to be the guest judge for her Write Away contest in June, which is the coolest name ever for a writing contest, don't you think? She is an amazing writer by the way. People are always asking me if I am a writer or if I want to be a writer which always makes me snort but if I could write like Scribbit then I would be starting my fifth book by now. Have you Michelle? Let us know where we can buy your next volume.

So go read how Michelle and I "met" and all about my craziest organizing philosophy. Can you tell from my photo what a goof I am? Probably not. See how I have you all fooled?

Thank you for the interview Michelle and thanks to all you kind commenters over at Scribbit.blogspot.com.

I also have an article up at GNMParents today. It's all about how people should stop moving so much, especially people I know because it is too much work! Let's all just stay put and be happy where we are. Deal? Let's say it together, "We are never moving again!" Deal.

In case you were wondering that was not a Couch Potato Pact we were just making. Be sure to leave me a comment and tell me how many times you have moved in your life. I was going to make a poll but I'm feeling too lazy tonight so now you have to do all the work.

Sometimes I Try to be Nice

"Who said that? Did you say that?" a man asked his wife the other night at book club. She was sitting right by me so I had to confess that the rude remark had come out of my mouth and not hers. I'm much too nice to let someone else take the blame for my rudeness. Of course I am.

Stranger has been trying to teach me the subtleties of niceness. According to him it is sometimes nice to lie to people and rude to tell them the truth. I don't get it.

I always choose friends who can handle the hard cold facts. "No, I didn't listen to that book on tape you lent me. It was so nauseatingly cute and boring that I couldn't make it through the first chapter." And then when you tell me things like, "This salad is disgusting. Did the dressing call for dish soap?" I totally still love you because it just means more dish soap salad for me.

I'm not sure if it is possible for me to get my feelings hurt by someone who loves me. If you are married to me then I will remember every rude thing you have ever said and use it against you at every possible future moment but it won't hurt my feelings.

Of course if you are rude to me and it is obvious that you hate my guts then I will go home and cry my eyes out. For the rest of my life. Because who can live knowing there is even one single person on this earth who doesn't like them?

I am trying to learn to be nice though, really I am and I am already nice in my own little ways like, if you have food on your face I will tell you about it. But I warn you if I tell you once and then I see face food again I won't say anything the second time. I will just continue our conversation while being completely fascinated by the seagulls eating garbage outside the window. Boogers are another matter however. If I see boogers I go straight for the garbage. I can't even look at you long enough to ask you to wipe them away. If I didn't give birth to you then I really can't be held responsible for your boogers, ok?

And I'm nice in other ways too. I always return my shopping cart at the store. That's nice right? Not only that but I always take a shopping cart into the store with me so that it's one less cart that the shopping cart employee of the month has to retrieve. In fact I usually make my kids do it too. I know I won't be getting away with that very long because they are going to figure out that a family train of shopping carts going into the store doesn't look very cool. Even for home schoolers. Even for people who wear cowboy boots with shorts.

I hope you never get tired of the home schooling jokes because I never will. They always make me laugh because they are so true. I was just mentioning to my nine year old the other day, "That is exactly the kind of thing that makes home schoolers weird!" He decided to memorize a short poem and then the whole family re-wrote the poem using modern language except that it came out "rappy" and that's exactly how he was reciting it to us. In a white boy kind of way. I really should get that on video because that's not going to be cool in a few more years either and now that I've witnessed it I don't know if I can go the rest of my life without it.

Anyway. More about my niceness.

I always hang up all the clothes I try on in dressing rooms. Sometimes I have been tempted to leave the clothes sitting in a heap on the bench but then I sigh and hang them up anyway. Every single time I have felt tempted I have found something under the heap. Just little stuff like, oh, my sunglasses or my belt or my PURSE! See how you can be rewarded for doing the right thing? Or we can also learn that it pays to be organized even if we're lazy. Especially if we're lazy.

Some of you might be happy to hear of another nice thing I do. I click on your blog ads. Aren't I sweet? I figure you are making money according to how many clicks you get and it only takes a second so I do it. Tell me if I'm wrong ok? Maybe you get paid just from people looking at them. In that case I'm going to feel really stupid about all the clicking I've been doing. Stupid and nice.

If I am my Mother then who is she?

Don't you hate it when you decide the milk is spoiled after the glass is already empty?

"Hmmm, this milk tastes a little funny but it must be because it is whole milk and I'm not used to drinking whole milk."

"I don't think this milk tastes right but I can't really tell so it must be fine. If it were spoiled I would definitely know it."

"Ok, I really think this milk might be spoiled. I'd better take another drink just to make sure."

"Ewww! Spoiled! If there were any left I would so be throwing it down the sink in disgust!"

What kind of freak drinks an entire glass of spoiled milk? Does that sound familiar? Anyone remember the Easter Egg incident of '79? Mother?

The last couple weeks I have been the perpetrator of some very suspicious behavior and I knew it was going to catch up to me sooner than later. The person who left me a comment saying that my milk would last longer if I didn't keep it in the door can go ahead and say they told me so but there are darker forces at work here.

If we were to drink milk in chronological order like we're supposed to then we would never have spoiled milk but when Psycho (and apparently I don't know how to spell that because I had to Google it) Organizing Mom starts de-cluttering the milk shelf, strange things can happen and I'm not just talking about swigging from the jug when the kids aren't looking. You know the whole peas porridge story where you just keep adding stuff to the leftover stew until it's 57 years old? Ok, it's kind of like that but with milk.

If your girls drink red milk and the rest of you are drinking blue milk then you have two half empty jugs of milk in the fridge at all times. That's enough to give any organizer a panic attack! When you buy two new jugs of milk why not just mix the old jugs together to make more room in the fridge?

You're never eating at my house again, are you?

Everyone said I was going to kill someone with my organizing one day. Or were they talking about my Mom with the Thanksgiving turkey? Either way the Boy Scouts didn't seem a bit bothered by the brownies we made today so our cooking can't be that bad. But then they didn't have milk in them. Or Turkey.

I promise I am not a complete drop out when it comes to food safety. I even squirt liquid soap onto the side of the sink before I touch raw chicken so I can use it to wash my hands afterwards without contaminating the soap dispenser. How about if that is my organizing tip for the day?

Oh, and I have another one too. Do you ever freeze your milk? Pour a cup of milk out of the jug first so it has room to expand as it freezes and make sure you put the milk in your sink to thaw several hours before you need it because it takes forever. Now you will never run out of milk again. Except for when you use the frozen milk and then forget to replace it and then forget that you already used it and then you cry a little because now you can't have your daily granola fix for breakfast the next morning.

You give it a try and I promise I'll be good with the milk from now on. Mostly.

7 Things

Thea tagged me for a meme so I will not procrastinate. I will get memming! Is it possible that there are seven things you don't know about me?

1. I love to listen to opera but I hate watching it. Singing is not acting people! No, I don't watch musicals either. Well maybe a few good ones like My Fair Lady and Fiddler on the Roof but I definitely don't memorize the songs. Ok, maybe some of the songs but I don't know any of the dances and that's the truth.
2. I broke one of my fingers off in a sewing machine accident when I was 24. I had just started dating Stranger and he held my hair while I threw up for two hours after my surgery to reattach my finger. I knew he had seen too much and I would have to marry him after that.
3. I have deformed toenails on my little toes. It's all my Grandpa's fault.
4. I used to love animals when I was growing up. Now, not so much. Anything that makes more work for me is not my friend. That's why I thought buying a farm would definitely be the way to go.
5. I fell out of a car on the freeway when I was 7. I get to blame everything on brain damage.
6. I'm a gum smiler who doesn't chew gum.
7. I only wear fish hook earrings. I won't buy the kind with a separate back because I'm too lazy to put them on. I know some of you still think I'm joking about being lazy. I'm not joking.

Marcia also tagged me to show my planner but I have already revealed all! You've seen my puppies, now if you want to play along you have to show me yours. Consider yourself tagged!

No New Junk

I seriously hate gift giving and I think I have stumbled upon the reason why. I always thought it was just because I was cheap and selfish but I am ready to face the truth. I hate wasting money on stuff that people don't really need. Gift cards are boring and giving money to people who didn't come out of your body is just plain weird.

I live for E-Bay, garage sales, antique and thrift stores. If you would invite me over I would like to rummage around in your basement as well. I bet there is some really cool stuff down there that I could take my tools to. From now on that's where all your Christmas and holiday gifts are coming from. I mean the other places, not your own basement.

If you don't like your gift just think of it as my contribution to your next garage sale which I am totally coming to. I won't get my feelings hurt when I see that you're selling if for a quarter. I will just buy it back and sell it on E-bay for $1,000.

If that doesn't get me in the spirit of gift giving then you can go back to thinking I was cheap and selfish like you always did, or just plain lazy which you could totally forgive me for, right?

Sensibly Elinor

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.

It's a lie. I'll let anyone see my deeply disturbing emotional side. All you have to do is ask! I thought I would have more in common with the impatient, selfish little know-it-all, Emma Woodhouse but maybe inside I am a bit of an Elinor. I needn't feel too bad because she has some dashing faults as well. Now that I think about it. They are both know-it-alls. It's just that in the end, one was right and one was wrong and I get to be right!

I want to show you the girls' closet so far but I can't seem to remember to take a photo while the sun is out. Our organizing project for the day was to go through the Foster Drawer. (Daddy started it.) The kids sorted everything and put it away while I did handwork on a quilt. It was the only way I could keep myself calm while they moved as slow as turtles, each hoping the other would pick up the pieces they didn't want to put away themselves.

They eventually cleared out the drawer and after a few laps around the farm I herded them back in for another round with two big baskets of junk that I stashed in the Guest Room slash Junk that I don't want to think about Room. (So that's where the baby's missing socks and sipper cups were!) If it were any later I might admit that Lovely has grown out of some of the clothes we found but it's not so I won't.

Also I made you something today. I'll show it to you tomorrow too. Closet. Present. Don't let me forget.

Thanks for the quiz Sweet Feet!

You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself People

Phat Mommy said it would be fun to stop using punctuation so I thought Id see if she was right so far Im not that excited about it but I really like her other idea of going through the drive through and requesting my order to go that makes me giggle can I get that to go don't forget that I need that to go

another thing that makes me giggle is when we go to Taco Time and order a side of rice and beans to go of course and they dont give us any utensils where I come from you pretty much need some sort of utensil to eat rice and beans a tortilla at the very least but no we get nothing Its a good thing are so organized that we have plastic ware in the glove compartment but its too bad that we arent just smart enough to ask for a utensil the next time nope all I can say is so long and thanks for all the cheese

the giggliest thing of all though is when my kids and I go to a garage sale and walk past a large framed poster of a nak*d woman Im not talking about a classic work of art either what Im talking about is more from the pl*yboy centerfold artistic genre what a fun morning Saturday morning cartoons cant even begin to compete with that not that theyre not trying their hardest

The funs over because I'm going to need punctuation to make the following public service announcement. Here's the deal. I don't care how funny and real and gorgeous you are. I don't care if you have a sarcastic sense of humor that perfectly coincides with mine. I don't care if you seem to get into my mind at times with your perceptive observations. I have looked past the n*ughty words for too long as it is and now this. I need to make it perfectly clear. If you are going to publish n*ked pictures of women on your blog with little stars over their boobie parts then we have come to the end of our relationship. I am just embarrassed that I didn't have the courage to end it sooner. It hurts that you care so little about my feelings but the part that hurts the most is that this hurts me more than it hurts you. You and your 27 million commenters, 27 billion now that you’re featuring pornography, never even knew I was alive so you surely won't miss me now that I am gone but that's ok. If I start missing you I can always take my young children out for a morning of garage sale-ing to experience that family porn euphoria again. Yep that’s what I was lookin fur rat thur. Can I get thems to go?

Saturday wasn't the best day for garage sales but I did come home with eight bread pans that I have needed for years and this book which further follows our theme for today.

Call me paranoid but because I can't quite figure out that picture on the cover I think it's best to keep it put away where the children can't see it. Plus they might start reading it and I'm not sure they're really ready for all the drugs, adultery and suicide inside this great classic. Leo and Anna what were you thinking and why did I buy this book?

Speaking of Leo and Anna, aren't those great names? I think I'm going to use them the next time I have twins. I think it would be a fine legacy for them to be named after such a great piece of work. I was named after Dr. Zhivago's mistress you know and nothing could make me prouder!

Now you've got him where you want him.

Freezing Cold

Cold

Warm

Getting Warmer

Hotter

Feel the Love!

Yes, we had another great weekend. Some people spend money taking vacations. We are going to spend all our money on seminars! We are learning so much and meeting so many wonderful people. It will really be fun when our kids are 12 so they can go to the youth seminars. The youth that are getting A Thomas Jefferson Education in their homes are the most amazing kids I have ever met!

My feet and shins are really feeling the 3" heels I wore to the ball. Yes, I was 6'4"! Of course Stranger doesn't mind when I'm an inch taller than him with my heels but we only danced two songs all night. The rest of the time we took turns dancing with Lovely. She would not be put down. She had to dance the night away!!! And so did her big sister. I just love how she's making her dance partner do all the work!



Ok, there's my new skirt and blouse. It's not too exciting but it covered all my und*rwear which is more than I can say for the rest of the clothing at the mall. You can thank my photographer, Victor, for the alluring pose.

Miata In Mi Pocket

*Updated with video. This is Lovely signing after playing with the Signbabies flash cards once. I'm sure I could get a better video but the beginning of this one is too priceless! (If the video doesn't work, click here.)

I had the most amazing weekend! First of all I got to attend the Face To Face With Greatness seminar by George Wythe College (A Thomas Jefferson Education) and it really was. There were so many intelligent people attending that it made me feel like a big dummy and wonder why I am even home-schooling. Oh well, I'll just have to aspire to reach their level of greatness some day. Maybe quilting during seminars doesn’t help.

I talked some of the greatness into staying with me this weekend for another seminar and I can’t wait! I’m sure you will all get to meet her after I turn her into a blogging addict like the rest of us. Her husband says he has already tried but I’m pretty sure I can push her over the edge when she isn’t looking.

Speaking of great, do you want to hear the most exciting part of my weekend? I got to meet Julie from Mental Tesserae but dang it, I forgot to get her autograph! She promised to make me dinner when I'm down there again in June so I can get it then. She was so sweet; she didn't even seem to mind that I talked her ear off because I was so nervous! She brought her baby body guard with her just in case (you have to be careful with these kinds of internet relationships) and her cuteness was lethal, especially to certain kinds of mall vegetation and citrus drinks.



I also got to meet Wendy from Signbabies.com. Two blind dates in one day! I've been working with Wendy to design an Organizing Bag for their fabulous Flash Cards. My family has been practicing with the flash cards every day and my two year old and forty year old can’t get enough of them! If someone would teach me how to put a video on my blog I would show you the adorable-ness of Sign Babies in action. Nancy’s blog is all about signing with your baby and she also has a radio show that has ideas for building a strong relationship with your baby. What great resources!



I’d have to say the highlight of the weekend was when we ran out of gas on the way home. Stranger had an exhilarating hike up the hill to a gas station while I got to sit in the dark on the side of the freeway wondering how long it would take for someone to stop and try to help. Where was the baby body guard when I needed her? I’m not sure why I stayed with the car. It was a tiny yellow Formula 1 that I could have just picked up and carried to the gas station in my pocket. Just so this doesn’t happen to you, if you trade cars with your sister-in-law and the gas tank reads ¼ full, don’t believe it. Refuel immediately!

Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen

I have two, 4-5 hundred page books to read (The Chosen and Jane Eyre) by March 9th. It's for a class that Stranger and I are taking. He's already through his first one and I haven't started yet. I've read Jane Eyre a dozen times already so that one will be easy but I have only read The Chosen once, probably 12 years ago.

Then yesterday we were called upon to give talks in Church next Sunday. Short notice is wonderful because it cuts down on the worry time but it's stressful to think about getting four talks prepared in one week. Stranger tried to bribe me into writing his talk for him by working out with me tonight at the gym. "Sure honey, I'll get started on it right away!" The amazing thing is that last year we gave talks in our old ward and we were asked to speak on "Preparing Every Needfull Thing". It took me about 15 seconds to write an hour long discourse!

You'll never guess what topic we were given this time around. How has service in the Church blessed your lives??? Help!!! I am on the edge of my seat wondering what the selfish Wonder Trouble will come up with for that topic. This will definitely be a learning/growing experience for me. But I already have my first quote. I heard this on the radio so I need to figure out who said it, "Service is doing what you don't have to do." Duh.

Stay tuned!

The Trouble Maker

Stranger stormed into the office the other night. He obviously had something on his mind, something he’d been thinking long and hard about.

The Conversation

“How long have you been in the Scout program?” he blurted out.

“I don’t know, about eight months,” I replied.

So they call you to work in the scouts and make you buy all those clothes and then you haven’t even been in there a year when they kick you out? (We just found a few days ago that I’ve been released from the Scouting program.)

No, they let me borrow the shirt.

Well, if they didn’t then you would have had to buy one right?

Yes.

That’s dumb that they would just get rid of you like that! Why do you have to cause so much trouble anyway?

Well, I’m a trouble maker. What can I say?

Then you’re just going to cause trouble somewhere else, no matter what your new calling is!

That’s true. Are you sorry you married such a trouble maker?

No, I just can’t believe they would get rid of you like that. I didn’t get rid of you!

Ahhhh, that is so sweet! It’s comforting to know that no matter how much trouble I cause, my husband will never get rid of me. Take that Cub Scouts!!! You didn’t want me but Stranger does and that’s all that matters.

The Background

In my Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, you don’t choose your callings. You are given a calling by the Bishop, the local leader, and whatever you are asked to do, you do it. Of course you are welcome to say no but don't. Just do what you are asked to do.

When we first moved here I was called to be one of two Wolf Leaders in my son Victor’s den. We had about 6 boys when we started and over the last eight months our den grew to 14 and more. I lost count somewhere along the way and things got so crazy that I didn’t even recognize or know the names of all our boys! I showed up and helped the best I could with the activities amid the commotion while trying to keep my 1 and 6 year olds out of harms way. Then we packed up and went home exhausted. We needed help ok? There is a problem, let’s solve it. That’s all I was asking. I don’t think that qualifies me as a trouble maker but I know that’s the way I come across at times.

And in the defense of the other Scout leaders, no one was getting rid of me. At least I’d like to imagine they weren’t! I think it’s natural to feel a little rejected whenever you get released from a calling. “What! I’m not good enough for you? You don’t want me anymore?” But life continues and I will go on to annoy and irritate the next group of people I am called to serve with. Hey, at least they don’t have to live with me!

Morgan News Here I Come

I’m so excited! I’m not even a writer and I have writers block! I have a deadline people, a real live newspaper deadline. Who would have ever thought that someone with the most boring life in history would be writing an article for the local newspaper? I think I was staying up too late one night and I didn’t have all my senses when I was reading Lindsay’s blog. She writes for a paper called the Nashville Scene. I’m still trying to figure out why she didn’t link to my blog in this article. Flylady? What’s that all about? Aren’t every single one of you more organized since you started reading my blog? Of course you are!

Anyway, Lindsay is writing for a newspaper so why can’t I? I mean, what does it matter that she has 20,000 blog readers and I have 20? Who cares that she was a TV reporter before she got married and started popping out the kids. I’m pretty sure I got an A in English. Doesn’t that qualify me? And Lindsay, Suburban Turmoil, commented that she likes my Tomato so we’re like, tight now right?

So instead of actually writing an article for my 5:00 deadline tomorrow, I’m blogging about how I should be writing an article and that just makes me feel so…so…organized in a lazy kind of way because we all know very well that I’m going to take one of my old blogs and edit it for the newspaper. Who can stand this kind of pressure??? Lindsay! Help!

A Super Saturday

A few weeks ago I had an entire day off. That meant no baby and no schedule. Only one large 8 year old who is almost entirely entertained by himself. I wasted it. Really. By the end of the day all I could think about was how I had wasted the entire day. How depressing! Now I’m trying to figure this out. Why did I think it was such a waste of a day?

First of all I got to sleep in till 9:00. I went to a Super Saturday where I got to experience a wonderful Italian cooking class and a smoothie making class. I got to spend time with Victor, eating lunch that I didn’t have to cook, making soap that I didn’t have to clean up after, and tying a quilt. I came home and cleaned out the fridge, washed dishes, cooked four batches of granola, worked on a blanket, and wrote a blog. What was so unsatisfying about that? What more could I have asked for? Something bigger? Something monumental?

Somehow all of the little things we do, day in and day out don’t seem to add up to anything great in our minds. Should they? What’s wrong with a Mother looking after the basic simple needs of her family; cooking, cleaning, teaching, creating and loving? These are things we can’t live without so why do we want to put them at the bottom of our list?

I am very happy with my lot in life. I feel lucky that I enjoy being at home with my kids. I enjoy trying to be the best Mother, chef, and cleaning lady I can be. Would I rather teach my kids to clean a bathroom or teach them how to hire someone to clean a bathroom? I think you know the answer to this. Which one raises independent, resourceful children? And besides, which one saves me money?

I know a lot of women who don’t feel this way. They want to hire a cleaning lady while they’re out slaying dragons but I’m happy to leave the dragons to Stranger. MAN are there a lot of dragons out there. He's not a Stranger for nothing! I’m satisfied if I slay a closet, a telephone salesperson or a refrigerator every now and then. Die leftovers, die!

I keep fantasizing about getting a vacation from this relentless job. Where would I go? What would I do? I need to get away and get recharged to handle life’s challenges.

No I don’t! That's what blogging is for! First of all I’m too cheap to spend money to go somewhere. Secondly I don’t want to leave my kids. Thirdly I don’t want to leave my comfortable, although muddy, house and lastly, I’m the most boring unadventurous creature that didn’t roam the earth. I stayed home and knitted a blanket instead.

Ok, if you kidnapped me and drug me on an all expense paid trip to Europe I wouldn’t complain very loudly but otherwise me and my Tomato are staying put. And anyone out there calling it The Great Pumpkin had better knock it off!