Mother's Who Know

I was re-reading an article today by Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, entitled Mother's Who Know.

I was particularly struck this time by one point. She is speaking of, "Mothers who know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, will have great power and influence for good on their children." Then she goes on to say,

"Mother's who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children - more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing and exemplifying."

Notice how she didn't say that Mothers should live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to save the environment and save money? No. Making money to buy Stuff takes time away from our families. Shopping for Stuff takes time away from our families. Taking care of and organizing Stuff takes time away from our families. Wading through all that extra Stuff to get to our families takes time away from our families.

Stop buying STUFF!

Oh and please don't stop by this week until I finish getting all the extra Stuff from my studio cleared out because it is spread all over my kitchen island. And don't ask me how so much Stuff fit into this tiny little room.

Thanks.

Remote Control House

Ok, so maybe all that living space isn't your style. How's this for organized?

Stop Buying Hay

If you haven't read Julie's post, What if. . . none were enough?, on the subject of Stuff you need to head over there right away.

Did anyone see Oprah today? Does this clutter make my butt look fat? I caught a few minutes of it at the gym. Peter Walsh had the woman in tears numerous times in the 15 minutes that I watched. He called her fat about 50 times. I think having someone call me fat over and over would make me cry too.

It's an interesting idea but I don't agree with Peter's premise. Clutter has never made anyone fat. I do agree that someone who is fat and lazy will probably also have a cluttered house but there are plenty of overweight people out there who are organized and not lazy in the least. Of course I didn't see the whole show so maybe I missed the point. What do you think?

Oh and there were a couple other women in the room watching the show and I mentioned that the woman's house didn't look any worse that most homes in America. Both of them agreed and said their houses looked just like it! Have you seen my garage lately? It's sad but definitely not fattening.

Nothing Extra

How would you like to live in a clutter free house like this? I found the link on Design Mom's blog. Take a look at all the photos of the house. It's amazing.

I personally like my home a little more comfortable and cozy but all that empty space looks refreshingly clean and it got me thinking about what I could do to de-clutter my home.

You know where I want to start right? The kids stuff!!! I had a vision last night of what I could easily do in the playroom to get it organized. I need to install some hooks for the kids to hang their dress up clothes on, keep a small basket for a few accessories and then get rid of the rest. We have already gotten rid of a lot of dishes and stuffed animals but we need to go through them again. Why? Why do they need so many? They don't! And that's really all they have in their playroom; dishes, dress up clothes and stuffed animals.

The game cupboard in the living room also seems to get unorganized pretty quickly. I want to go through it and weed out the things the kids don't use. That will make it easier for them to put away the things they do use.

I have a dream of living in a home surrounded by family and things that are beautiful and truly useful. No clutter. Nothing extra. Simple.

My New Stuff

We have been shopping like crazy trying to get ready for Persistence's baptism on Saturday. Why do these things have to involve so much planning and cost so much money? We found some suits on clearance at Macy's so we bought one for Victor for the Ball we're going to in March. Look at me! Planning ahead for a change!


While we were out I used a Barnes and Noble gift card I received for Christmas. I normally don't shop there because I can't stand to pay full price but since I had an excuse why not buy a couple new knitting books? Seriously, why not? Is that hat not the most adorable thing you've ever seen? (From Itty-Bitty Hats by Susan B. Anderson)


And HELLO! Look at these pacifier clips!!! Don't you want to have another baby just so I'll knit you one? (From Itty-Bitty Nursery by Susan Anderson) This is the kind of knitting I can handle. It doesn't take 100 hours and it doesn't have to fit anyone.

The thing that makes me crazy is that once you buy the suit you have to buy the shirts, the belt and the tie. Then you have to go find new socks and fancy new shoes. Then it's not like you can throw it in the wash when it gets dirty, which it will, so you'll also be paying for dry cleaning. So what if the suit was on sale? You still end up spending a fortune.

So what if the knitting books were free (for me anyway)? I had to buy new yarn and woops, I didn't have the right size knitting needles so I had to get a few of those too. Another fortune spent.

Tis the Curse of Stuff.

Not Born To Run

To run errands I mean. I hate them. I hate shopping. I hate driving and parking and getting in and out of the car. I remember back when I was single and I thought it was a hardship if I had to make more than two different stops in one day. Then I got married and had a baby and I thought my life was really hard. I could barely manage to drive to one store with him in tow, drive home again and collapse from the exhaustion.

These days I seem to be an errand running machine. Why do I have more energy at 35 than I did at 20? Today we left the house at 10:30 for art lessons and we didn't get home again until bedtime. I still didn't get half of my list accomplished, including my work out, dang it.

• Art lessons
• Lovely's hair cut. Yay it's short again! Go ahead and call her a boy, see if I care. (Yes, this is an old photo but I am too tired to post a new one.)
• Lunch
• Target
• Bank
• Book store
• Old Navy
• Roller skating rink (where I forgot my driver's license last week!)
• Music store
• Library
• Macy's (going out of business sale)
• Payless shoes
• Dinner (no cooking for us today)
• Basketball practice
• HOME!!!

Needless to say I sent everyone to bed early and I'm on my way there right now.

Have I ever mentioned what perfect little angels my kids are? In the car that is. None of them were blessed with my car sickness disease so they bring a book everywhere we go and read constantly. It's Heavenly! Oh, except for my two year old little devil who spends half her time screaming at me because she can and she knows I can't reach her from the drivers seat. Did I mention that she is almost three and she's starting to act like it?

What's up with all this shopping when I don't buy stuff? I tell more tomorrow and show you some of the fun STUFF I came home with!

Yes I'm back on line!

Why do we love stuff so much?

There is almost nothing more exciting than coming home with something new to wear or play with. Why is that? I can always tell when Stranger is especially pleased with a new toy because he brings it to bed with him. Sometimes I'll ask him, "Do you like it so much that you're going to sleep with it?" His latest favorite purchase I think was his snow plow which, sadly, I won't allow in the house let alone the bedroom. He had to buy a part for it a couple weeks ago though and I think that came to bed with us.

Why do we have all these holidays that are all about Stuff? Why do we have to buy each other Stuff to show them we love them? I'm thinking it's purely a sensory thing. I bet blind people are not into their Stuff as much as seeing people are. Am I wrong? I have a blind nephew and it seems the only Stuff he is into is his computer gadgets that talk or read brail to him. They are his way of experiencing the world.

What did God start with when he created the world? Stuff. And then he formed it into a bunch of other beautiful Stuff and created us to see and feel and smell and hear and taste all of it. Well we wouldn't want to taste ALL of it. Just the tastey Stuff. So I guess it's not such a bad thing for us to like Stuff. We just need to make sure we are good stewards over it and use it to create happiness and not saddness.

Having a cluttered home makes me sad. Not being able to find things makes me sad. Fighting with my kids to put things away makes me sad. I have learned one important thing about stuff. If it causing anxiety get rid of it!

If you hate doing laundry then you probably have too many clothes. If you dread doing dishes and they pile up for days then you have too many dishes. If your kids cry when you tell them to clean their rooms then they have too many toys. Get rid of at least half of them and stop buying more. If you've already gotten rid of half of them then get rid of half more.

It's a terribly profound concept, I know, but do you want a happy, easy life or a sad, difficult life? You get to choose and your Stuff has a lot to do with it.

De-Clutter Your Liabilities

A Liability is anything that is a hindrance, or puts individuals at a disadvantage. To me it's anything that costs time and money to own and maintain.

What are some of the liabilities we own?

• Our House - that's the biggest one. It costs us money every day but our bodies need one to live in so I think we'll keep it. The trick is to have the smallest, most easily maintainable home you can. We don't live in a huge house but it is a lot bigger than most people have or need. It is a very comfortable luxury and we are definitely paying for it. Stranger tells me every other day that we need to sell it and move. NO!!!



• Our Kids - yep, we're keeping those too but we're hoping they grow up into assets.



• Our Vehicles - We own a 17 year old pickup truck and an eight year old mini-van. Not to mention the Green Liver (it cost $50) that Stranger keeps out of town for work and a Jeep Wagoneer with a plow (it cost $300). Everything is paid for and Stranger is pretty good at fixing the little things himself. Still they cost money to run and maintain. If we were city types or if Stranger wasn't going to work at all hours of the night we would definitely try to get by with fewer vehicles. You know several months ago when I was talking about wanting a new van? We went shopping for one and couldn't stomach the idea of spending the money so I guess we'll keep driving the old one, which is perfectly fine, a while longer.



• Our Computers - HUGE liabilities. We spend so much time and money on them that it's ridiculous. Of course I run my business off my computer so it could be considered an asset. When it makes me rich I'll let you know.



• All the little gadgets and gizmos we have - My MP3 player that I can now not live without causes big headaches just keeping the music organized, finding the right earphones, fixing it when it's not working, etc. I also love my Bosch mixer/food processor/blender. I use it several times a day and I don't know how I would live without it but I'm sure I could find a way. I have a friend that makes homemade bread and mixes it all by hand. Imagine! If I had to do that I would spend more time whining than making bread. My headset telephone that's been broken and taped back together because life would not go on if I couldn't organize while I'm talking on the phone is another one of my favorite gadgets.



• Need I mention my four sewing machines? - No, I'm not getting rid of any of them. If anything I would like to buy a few more. You know. For the four times a year that I actually sew.



• The Bob Stroller - It is a definite luxury that I love, love, love and was worth every penny. It's not costing us any time or money to maintain but it certainly doesn't make us money and we could have bought something much cheaper. But then how long would it have lasted and how functional would it have been? Those are always big questions when making a purchase.



• Our VHS video player just broke and we won't be buying another one. I'm wishing our DVD player would break too!



• As far as any big extras we don't have them. We don't own a boat or a mobile home or a four wheeler or anything fun and exciting. Mostly because I'm too lazy to want the hassle and Stranger is too cheap to pay for them.

I can only think of a few things I would like to buy at this point of my life that doesn't involve finishing our house. I want a slicer/shredder attachment for my Bosch but I guess I don't really, REALLY need one. I just really want one. And new couches for my living room would be nice. Our eleven year old stained and ripped couches are not looking too cute these days. We weren't very smart when we picked them out because they show every little spot. That's the end of my wish list. Until I think of something else.

I'm sure you notice every day how much time and money your things are costing you. Is it worth it? What could you get rid of that you don't really need and is not bringing your life greater joy?

I Bought Stuff

I know. We are always spending money. But the questions is... on what? Is it useful? Is it going to last a long time? Do we need it?

I haven't bought new sheets for our bed or my son's bed for ten years. They were so thin that we could see through them and the edges were all frayed. Then they started ripping and Stranger still couldn't bare to part with them so he sewed them up. By himself. Because I refused to waste time on a lost cause. WE NEEDED NEW SHEETS!

Well, the sewing actually held up for a few more months. Long enough for me to find some more sheets for a good price. So we have new sheets for our bed and for Victor's bed. Aren't we so frivolous?

Oh and I also bought myself two new towels this week. Stranger and the kids got new towels for Christmas but I didn't. (We all have different colors so I know who to yell at when they get left on the floor.) Yep, we've also been using the same towels that we got for our wedding almost 12 years ago. Is that gross or thrifty?

My excuse is that I was going to buy new towels when we moved. Well, we decided to move about five years ago but it took us three years to move and then two more years to actually buy the towels. I think that makes us careful consumers. Or lazy.

Photograph curtesy of Grandpa Burt.

Buy Me Stuff!

Yesterday Persistence turned 8. Happy Birthday! She didn't NEED anything so we didn't buy her anything. Instead I took her shopping. How ironic is that? First we went to get her hair cut and then we went to dinner and then shopping. She actually does need a new dress to wear to Church but we never found anything.

Instead she picked out a pair of shoes that were on sale for $5, 8 little mini bread pans because she loves to cook, and a scarf and hat for a couple dollars because she doesn't have any and she does go out to play in the snow every day. My prediction though is that they will be lost in the snow or trampled to death in the garage within a week.

She had a fabulous time. When we were at dinner she said, "How come Victor didn't get a fancy birthday like this?"

When we were out we saw this...

If you're going to raise a proper American consumer it's important to start the brainwashing as soon as possible. Laurie left me a comment the other day:

I do wonder, seriously, what would happen to our economy if we all cut back and
didn't spend. I'm on the bandwagon for no spending. But after 911 what did they
encourage everyone to do but go out and shop!

I'm betting that if everyone cut back even 20% of their spending it would have serious repercussions on our economy. I'm not worried about that though because it's not going to happen. America is a country full of addicts (television, shopping, food, s*x, smoking, drugs and alcohol, etc.) and they're here to stay.

Did I ever tell you what I saw at Walmart one day? A package of little girl's panties that said, "Sweet and innocent...for now!" Just thinking about them makes me feel sick to my stomach all over again. I can't imagine any mother buying something so disgusting for her four year old but apparently they do.

Speaking of addicts I'm going to go out on a limb and announce to everyone that I am off sugar. Again! Of course today is my first day but still...

How long do you think I can make it this time or will I finally conquer the beast? I'm writing about it at Eatopia.

Stupid Gifts I Had Better Not Catch You Paying Good Money For

As promised. I'm not going to do this every day because I'm scared to go shopping in December but here is the first item on my Stupid Gift list. Do not buy this or I will find you and attach some sort of scarlet letter to you. I don't know which one but it will be very big and very scarlet.

The great thing about this stupid gift is that I almost want one.



Guess what I did last week? Paperwork! I know, it's hard to believe. We have a big (you can't tell from the photo how big) toy basket in the office that we have been throwing mail in since I started feeling sick. It was over flowing so I finally had to do something about it. Three bags of garbage later and it is all cleaned out and ready for toys again.

Rules of Gift Giving

Christmas is coming!!!

Are you getting excited yet? I'm not! I think a perfectly wonderful holiday has been ruined by commercialism. Maybe it's the organizer in me or maybe I'm just a pessimist but I can't stand all the clutter, the shopping, the noise and the over spending. Luckily we don't watch TV so we are saved from the worst of it but as of Friday I won't want to step a foot outside the comfort of my own home.

Last year we spent two weeks in California to escape it all and spend time together as a family. Christmas day on the beach was wonderful!!! I'm trying to talk everyone into doing it again this year. I don't think I'm going to have to talk very hard. Yes we spent a bit of money on the vacation instead of on presents but I'd rather pay for memories than a bunch of junk that no one will remember in five years let alone 50. My kids will always remember the trip we took.

After reading this article, Cristina asked me what we give our kids for Christmas. Not a lot. They get a stocking full of useful trinkets like school supplies, puzzles, fun bandaids and shampoos etc. Then they usually get one present from us. Something useful of course. I'm not saying we never give toys because to a small child, toys are useful. But when we give toys we try to pick something that will be played with over and over and will last close to forever. Here are some things that have worked for us for Christmas or Birthday presents. I'll add to it as I think of things.

• Puzzles, games (as long as they are kept in a cupboard and put away after each use they will last a long time)
• Dolls (but not all the little crap that goes with them and will end up cluttering your house)
• A doll stroller or a shopping cart for a boy (they might not last forever but they get played with to death)
• Ride on pony (My girls love theirs but we bought them after Christmas when they were $10 instead of $60)
• Toy kitchen with minimal dishes
• Little tykes gym with slide (This would be great. We have something like this.)
• Trampoline (this may not work for you but our kids live on ours)
• Swingset
• Building blocks or a wooden train set
• Legos never go out of style
• Bikes, scooters, roller blades, helmets etc.
• Cd players (I won't buy my kids MP3 players because I don't want them tuning out the world around them.)
• Snorkel set with fins and mask (We swim a lot.)
• Books of course
• Tool box with REAL tools (you can add tools to it every year)
• Sports equipment
• Sewing machine (My kids won't get one until they are ready to leave home because they can use mine until then.)
• Craft projects and supplies
• Art supplies
• Clothes (I almost never give clothes for Christmas because we have already bought our winter clothes by then. I don't see the point in giving a new coat for Christmas when the kid needed it in October.)
• Gardening supplies (Please don't give this to your child in the middle of winter! Wait for a spring birthday.)
• A musical instrument if it's something they have been wanting. Although it might make a better family gift in case the child doesn't stick with it.
• Quilt or blanket they can drag around the house. My kids got these two years ago and they are great because I don't have to worry about my nice quilts getting ruined in a fort slide.

Of coure you aren't going to buy your child a gift if it doesn't fit with your family standards but also don't buy it for him just because it's something YOU want him to have. If your child isn't into sports, don't buy him/her a new basketball. This sounds obvious but I have done it before so I'm sure some of you (or your spouses) have too.

Another obvious one is to give age appropriate gifts. Don't buy your thee year old a cd player. Don't buy your four year old an adult sized soccer ball. Not that anyone I know has ever done that.

Also don't give a gift to one child that the whole family will want to use. For instance a game will go to the whole family not one child that will pitch a fit when they're mad and tell their sister she can't play it. The rule in our family is, if something belongs to someone then they don't have to share it if they don't want to. Ever. Of course I have my own exceptions to this rule. If someone owns a book and they choose to keep it on the family bookshelf than anyone is free to read it. Things like that.

As far as Grandparents go, there is not much you can do about their generous spending and gift giving. We've tried to encourage family gifts or paying for lessons or classes but that hasn't gone over well. You can make all the suggestions you want but they are are still going to buy what they want to buy.

Chris is doing a Gift Guide on her blog with some fun toys and games you might be interested in.

I think what I should do for the whole month of December is a daily post of Stupid Gifts I Had Better Not Catch You Paying Good Money For. Would that be fun?

If you're playing by my rules of gift giving then once the Holidays are over you will need to keep your kids locked up so they don't hear about all the loot their friends got that they didn't. Either that or you can teach your kids about spending money wisely and appreciating what they have. If you talk they WILL listen. This is just my observation but sometimes the more you give your kids, the more ungrateful they will be. Go figure.

My favorite places to shop are garage sales, thrift stores and Ebay. I know a lot of people are trying to buy only handmade gifts these day so you may want to spend some time over at Etsy as well.

Happy gift giving! Or better yet...find other ways to spread the joy of the season.

Organize Your Toys

My point exactly.

I already said this.

Are you sick of picking up toys? Then get rid of them and stop buying more! Seriously. Why are you letting them control you and ruin your life?

People just don’t seem to get that kids don’t need a lot of toys. I actually think most parents buy them to make up for their own sad childhood. Toys do not equal love. When my kids were little I started asking myself, “Am I buying this for them or for me?” I think I have finally stopped buying things for myself and pretending they were for my kids. Except for their clothes that is. Those are all for me.