The Big Candy Wagon

Do you have entrepreneurial kids? Everything my kids make or do they want to turn into a business. They want to sell their drawings, their old toys, and their toenail clippings. Weeks ago they were into painting rocks. They painted dozens of them so they could sell them because there is a big market for painted rocks around here. We wish. It probably doesn't help that we sit around for family nights and talk about new businesses we're going to start. I guess we're just an entrepreneurial family.

My kids' first and most successful business was The Big Candy Wagon. It all started several years ago when I had a garage sale and made a pan of brownies for the kids to sell. They were hooked. They wanted to sell brownies on the street every day after that but I wouldn't let them. For one thing I wasn't interested in baking brownies every day and I also hated it when kids were camped on the road waving people down to buy Cool-Aide. Some people are so nice that they stop and buy it but I'm not one of those people. I want to yell at them, "Get out of the street! And while you're at it get a real job! No one wants your disgusting grape Cool Aide!"

Actually the reason it made me mad was because we lived in a neighborhood with lots of young families and my kids were constantly coming in begging for money to buy watered down sugar water from some kid or another. I was sick of it but I got my revenge.

I decided that if the kids were going to become little street vendors they were going to sell something people really wanted. Junk food. We took a trip to Sam's Club and loaded up on candy and soda. The kids set up shop in a big wagon with an umbrella and enough artificial colors and flavorings for an entire neighborhood full of hyperactive children. The customers came running.

All the kids had to do was have their Big Candy Wagon set up as the kids streamed off the school bus, which just happened to stop right in front of our house, and they made a killing. Kids either stopped right away to spend their pocket change or they ran home to find some cash. I'm sure most of the parents hated us but there were other parents who would stop their Mom Mobiles to buy every child in their haul a soda and candy bar. We loved those Mom mobiles!

In an hour and a half the kids could make $20-$30! Pretty soon I was even buying candy wholesale but sadly I had to shut them down. They refused to stop eating the inventory. I don't know what I was thinking. They were going to sell candy and not eat it? I tried everything I could think of to ration it but nothing worked. I also got tired of the neighbor kids breaking into our garage to steal candy. It guess it just wasn't meant to be.

My kids still talk about that business. They're mad that we moved out to the country with no busy subdivisions full of greedy kids with pockets full of money. Now they're stuck selling chicken eggs for a few bucks but all the money goes back into buying chicken food. It's not a very glamorous way for a ten and eight year old to make a living.

Little do they know, in a few years when they're older they will be able to make a fortune moving sprinkler pipe, milking cows and slaughtering mink. Country kids get the best jobs.

How To Be A Lazy Kid

• Don't drag 50 pound bags of salt down to the basement when you're four years old just to show your parents how strong you are.
• Because then you will be in charge of dragging salt down to the basement for the rest of your life.
• Don't tell your Mom you're going to run down to the gas station that's 1.5 miles away and that she can pick you up on her way to the gym.
• Because then you will be getting yourself to Scouts and any other activity within a ten mile radius and no one will feel sorry for you. Even if there is a blizzard outside and you choose not to wear a coat, hat or gloves.
• When you are helping your Dad put shelves together don't tell him you could do it all by yourself.
• Because then your Dad will be taking a nap on the couch while you are putting the rest of the shelves together, all by yourself. Even if it takes you until 10:00 at night.

P.S.

• Don't insult your Mother by telling her you would rather die than let her cut your hair just because she's not an expert and it takes her a little while to get it even.
• Because then your Dad will take you somewhere to get your head shaved and you and your Mother will cry about it for months until it grows in enough that she isn't embarrassed to be seen with you in public.

Born To Tumble?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my money paying for Persistence to be in tumbling lessons. It's not like she's going to grow up to be a cheerleader right? How is tumbling going to help her in life? Don't tell me it teaches coordination because she already has it and she always has.

Then I catch her doing things like this...

And this...

And climbing 30 foot light posts to rescue someone's kite.

And then I think I'll keep her in tumbling.



Although there's got to be a more useful skill she could be learning. Rock climbing? That doesn't sound extremely useful either. Fun but not useful.

Why does it have to be useful? Because I want to invest in things my kids can use for the rest of their lives. I think tennis and golf are great sports because you can play those till you're 100 years old. Tumbling, not so much.

How about martial arts?

How to Find a Husband if You're Persistant

Persistence - "I just don't know how I'm going to decide who to marry." (She's eight.)

Me - "It can be a tough decision when you're eight." (Did I mention that she's eight?)

Persentence - "I think what I'll do is find twenty boys and bring them to my house and line them up. Then I'll pick the best one and marry him."

Me - "Good plan." (Seriously. Can you think of a better one?)

The kids and I went to the opera last week. Cinderella. Persistence wore what she now calls her opera dress and the audience was full of Cinderellas in ball gowns and crowns. It was so fun!

I love opera and I'm so excited that my kids are old enough to go because I haven't been since having them. Not only are they old enough for the opera but in January we went to a Ririe Woodbury Dance production and in a couple weeks we're seeing Shakespeare. I can't wait!

At the dance production Lovely climbed up on her chair to whisper in my ear every time a new group of dancers came out on stage, "That's my new favowite Mommy! That's my new sparkly!" She was so impressed that over a month later she is still talking about it.



Poor Cinderella. She works her fingers to the bone but she tries to have fun doing it. Isn't defrosting the freezer one of your favorite jobs?



It would be a lot more fun if people would think of doing it BEFORE they bought a half a beef that had to be moved into coolers and drug out onto the front porch. You'll remember that for next time won't you sweetie?

It's a good idea to do your defrosting now while it's still cold outside. I don't really know what came over me but I had that thought before falling asleep one night so of course I couldn't wait till Stranger was home to help. I guess that's what professional meat movers (kids) are for.

Lovely Reading Time

Thanks for all your comments on my post yesterday. Stranger had one thing to say after reading it. "I feel sorry for all those poor kids of the mothers reading you blog!" But he doesn't really. He knows we're teaching our kids the right things. I just hope your kids don't hate me too much!

I spent some time today labeling all my posts related to teaching kids to work and re-loading the photos that were lost on them. If you're interested you can go back and see some of the progress and changes we have made over the last year or so. There are also a few goofy videos of my kids doing chores.

Click here to see all the posts. I will work on answering your latest questions as soon as I can.

In other news...

After Lovely was all ready for bed last night I asked her to go get in bed and read while I took a shower and then I would come tuck her in.


When I got out of the shower my two older kids were running around playing and this is where I found Lovely. In bed reading!!! I've told you before that she will put herself to bed but it still amazes me.

You know I love all my kids right? I definitely don't have any favorites. Of course not! It's just that this one is so sweet and agreeable that she has spoiled me. I'm scared of what the new baby is going to do to our lives. You can't get this lucky twice.

A Sampling of the Weird Family

People have been asking me what kind of storage shelves we bought this week. These are great shelves we got at Sam's Club. They're sturdy and not too expensive at $60 a unit. We're not storing our buckets on them but we needed shelves for canned goods and a lot of the other items on my storage list.



We had a home school Valentine party today of which I didn't take any decent photos of as usual. It's a good thing I always keep my camera in my purse or else I might forget to forget to use it.



One of the things I love about home schooling are the activities. It's not just a classroom of fourth graders having a party at school. It's a building full of families with kids and parents of all ages, spending time together, having fun. I would be missing out on all that fun if I sent my kids off to school every day.



Someone mentioned to me the other day that they couldn't tell from my blog that I home school. I guess I don't mention it very often except to make fun of my kids for looking like home schoolers. Then it hit me that someone who didn't know us might think I was making fun of home schoolers! Well, I am but I can because I am one.

I also love the times that just the Moms get together for book discussions and sharing nights because the Moms I meet are so amazing! I wish some of them were home schooling me! They asked me to talk about organizing last month and it was so much fun that we did it again last night. If you haven't invited me over yet to yap about organizing, you should. Invite a bunch of friends, make some yummy food and I will be there!



No, worms did not dig tunnels on my daughter's arm. This is what happens when you put together a giant rubberband and your father teaches you how to stretch it around the house a couple times and then when he isn't there to supervise you try it again except that this time you let go of it while your sister is holding onto the other end.

By the way, I can never figure out when to use onto/on to and into/in to. I read this explanation but I still can't figure it out. So is it "onto the other end" or "on to the other end"?

I also don't know which is correct, home school, home-school, or homeschool. Maybe I need to go back to school to figure it out.

Persistent in Growing Up

Our little girl was baptized this month.


I could say time is flying by too fast,


But every day she surprises us with her growing personality,


And I would never trade the future for the past.

Book Worms

I punished my kids tonight by sending them to bed without letting them read. They were acting like two year olds at the grocery store (except for my two year old who was being completely decent) and that was the best I could come up with. I wanted something really painful and no reading just about killed them. Mission accomplished.

Stranger snapped this photo of Persistence the other morning as she was cooking oatmeal. My kids read while they eat. They read when they wake up. They read before they go to sleep. They read in the car. They listen to books on tape while they do their chores. And apparently they read while they cook.

They only time they won't read is when I'm on the phone. They like to take that opportunity to run screaming through the house, either fighting or playing some wildly exciting game. In case you're wondering, I don't have any friends. At least no phone friends. If you want to be friends with me you either have to be content with the time we spend in person or else you have to like e-mail.

Speaking of my pregnancy. (We were talking about bratty children, right?) This new Sweet Little Troublemaker is getting big. I mean, people are starting to touch my stomach and my maternity clothes are starting to fit, big. And the contractions are getting a tiny bit painful. I'm really looking forward to three months of painful contractions.

I'm officially six months along today. At least I think it's official since I'm due May 9th and today is February 9th.

Have I mentioned that we're not finding out the sex? You are just going to have to wait till May to find out what kind of present to send. Although you could start sending cash right away. Cash is always in fashion.

Not Born To Run

To run errands I mean. I hate them. I hate shopping. I hate driving and parking and getting in and out of the car. I remember back when I was single and I thought it was a hardship if I had to make more than two different stops in one day. Then I got married and had a baby and I thought my life was really hard. I could barely manage to drive to one store with him in tow, drive home again and collapse from the exhaustion.

These days I seem to be an errand running machine. Why do I have more energy at 35 than I did at 20? Today we left the house at 10:30 for art lessons and we didn't get home again until bedtime. I still didn't get half of my list accomplished, including my work out, dang it.

• Art lessons
• Lovely's hair cut. Yay it's short again! Go ahead and call her a boy, see if I care. (Yes, this is an old photo but I am too tired to post a new one.)
• Lunch
• Target
• Bank
• Book store
• Old Navy
• Roller skating rink (where I forgot my driver's license last week!)
• Music store
• Library
• Macy's (going out of business sale)
• Payless shoes
• Dinner (no cooking for us today)
• Basketball practice
• HOME!!!

Needless to say I sent everyone to bed early and I'm on my way there right now.

Have I ever mentioned what perfect little angels my kids are? In the car that is. None of them were blessed with my car sickness disease so they bring a book everywhere we go and read constantly. It's Heavenly! Oh, except for my two year old little devil who spends half her time screaming at me because she can and she knows I can't reach her from the drivers seat. Did I mention that she is almost three and she's starting to act like it?

What's up with all this shopping when I don't buy stuff? I tell more tomorrow and show you some of the fun STUFF I came home with!

Yes I'm back on line!

Another Birthday Party and A Little More Work

Persistence had a birthday party today. It didn't quite work out as easy and stress-free as Victor's party a few weeks ago. I actually had to plan this one!


Persistence is my little chef so I had an expert come to teach her and three friends how to decorate cakes. (She got a cookie press for Christmas.)


They had a great time but you know who had the greatest time? My ten year old son! He would have spent four hours decorating his cake if he could have.


Aren't they beautiful? Can you tell which one my two year old did? That was supposed to be my cake but Lovely wouldn't let me near it. She had to decorate it by HERSELF! I snuck in a little border around the bottom and she almost didn't recover from the insult.

After we were done with the cakes everyone made their own pizza.


Persistence modeling her Christmas present.

Apron Pattern



We actually don't have friend parties every year and when we do I definitely don't go all out like some people do. Simple and easy is my style as we all know.

A Wonderful New Recipe

Soda Cakes

You'll need:
A sweet seven year old little girl (almost eight!)
Your favorite pancake recipe
Instead of using 6 teaspoons of baking powder...
Substitute 6 TABLESPOONS of baking SODA

That is the secret ingredient right there. You will have more bubbling fun that your family can handle for one night. Serious bubbling. Because, you know, that's what baking soda does, especially 6 TABLESPOONS of it! The really fun part is that no one will even notice anything is different , not the person cooking the pancakes or anyone eating them, until Mother takes a bite and starts gagging. Not in a "I'm pregnant" kind of way but more like a "My daughter is trying to poison me" kind of way. Everyone else will just snarf them down as usual.

Try them tonight and see if they become a new family tradition. Then we can start calling you Soda Cakes. Hey, it's better than being called Salt Balls like someone else I know. (Hopefully Daddy's Birthday Chocolate Chip-less Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls turn out better this year than they did last year. A little less salt will help.) We might not be a family of gourmet chefs but we sure try hard.

I seriously don't know what happened tonight. Persistence has been making pancakes for two years now without any problems. Maybe she was busy dreaming she was the star of a new cooking show called Gallagher Girl Gourmet but I think Cooking with Soda Cakes sounds even better. Now if we could just get her to come out of hiding from embarrassment. Maybe it would help if we stopped calling, "Here Soda Cakes! Where are you soda Cakes? We love you Soda Cakes! Come out, come out where ever you are Soda Cakes!"

Sympathy Please

I have one child that I would like to strangle almost every day. I'm not saying he is my least favorite child, I'm just saying he is the child most likely to get strangled to death by his mother. You see the difference right? And although it's highly unlikely I will ever kill one of my own children the desire is there some days.

This child is brilliant. All you have to do is look at his head and you can see that there are a lot of brains in there. I just wish one of theses days he would start using them to help him put his things away and then remember where he put them.

I get so tired of looking for library books, shoes, scout books, basketballs, etc. If I decide not to involve myself and make him look all by himself then I still have to endure the crying and wailing and gnashing of teeth while he's hunting.
Today this beloved child spent 15 minutes looking for his shoes so he could go to Scouts. We go through this every day. He never found them so he decided to wear his flip flops instead. He couldn't find those so I made him go in his Church shoes which for some reason he could find. He said that was embarrassing but I will bet you a million dollars that it's not embarrassing enough to make him put his shoes away the next time he wears them.

Then there is all the stuff he loses that we never find, like a $100 bike that he owned for two months before he lost it. It is really out of control. I can not buy him anything or let him use anything or he will lose it. I hate to tell him that because I don't want him to feel hopeless but that is what it comes down to until he learns to be responsible. It's his choice because I do not have time to babysit his stuff.

A couple weeks ago after an episode I told him he needed to come up with a solution for this problem. He went in his room and boxed up everything he owns that he could possibly lose and took it down to the basement. He kept his backpack with his checkbook and planner in it and he is working on keeping that put away and not losing it. I can't say that it's going very well but he's trying. I think.

If anyone has any ideas for us I would love to hear them. If not then I would like a lot of sympathy for having a son that is just like me. I hope he doesn't wait till he's 30 to figure out his behaviour is making life miserable for himself and everyone around him and decide to change.

If you tell them enough times, pretty soon they will think it was their idea.

Staturday Morning

Kids - Will you take us to the gym this morning?

Mom - I will but then you have to promise that you will spend the rest of the day cleaning up the house and all your messes.

Kids - We will! We will! Yay! We're going to the gym!!!

Victor - Well, we were pretty much going to be doing that anyway right Mom?

Mom - (Uh oh. He's on to me.) Pretty much.

After the House is Clean

Victor - Wow! The house looks so good! What if I made sure the kitchen was this clean all the time?

Mom - (Don't tease me like that.) That would be nice wouldn't it?

Victor - What if we never made any messes ever? Then we would never have to clean them up!

Mom - (Where have I heard that before?) Can you start today?

It Was Time

No more fancy Sugar 'N Spice hair styles for us!


And just when I was going to show you a cute new one. This little girl in my nursery class at Church always has the most beautiful hair. Look at all of it! For some reason my girls did not inherit my thick hair.

It all started a few weeks ago when Persistence began complaining that she wanted to cut her hair off. No more snarls? No more of her running around with mangy looking hair? Sounds great to me!



You can only stand pony tails so long before you get sick to death of them and it seems that we didn't have the energy for anything else lately. She took the plunge and loves her new hair cut.



So now we come to our two year old little trouble maker. Haven't I mentioned lately all the trouble she's been getting into? Maybe I thought if I didn't talk about it the problem would go away but that doesn't really seem to be working. She's still here!

I know some of you are shocked because you have never heard me say a bad word about her before but I'm telling you, she has crossed over to the bad side. In the sweetest way possible of course. Look what she did to her hair last week?


Remember that great advice I gave you to cut the elastics out of your daughter's hair? I'm not saying it wasn't great advice because I'm going to keep doing it but you knew and I knew that this was bound to happen. Let's not lie to ourselves. When you take a pair of scissors to a two year old's head every day, eventually she is going to try it for herself.

We're just lucky the damage wasn't worse than it was. She didn't cut the very front of it so it's not very noticeable. In fact I could have just left her hair like it was but she has been looking a little mangy lately too and I needed something easier these days.

"Uh oh. What did I get myself in to?"

"Much better!"

"Could I BE any spunkier?"

It looks very organized to me. And we can still do some fun things for Church if we want. That's one bonus of having fine hair. It looks great in short styles.

The funny thing is that Stranger has been bugging me to cut my hair off too and I think I would have if Margie had had time to fit me in. Yes people. I think it's time. The men in our family love their women in short hair. So how short should I go?

Although Margie had a good point. It's nice to be able to put your hair in a ponytail when you're throwing up.

I Swear I Didn't Write It

And you can tell from the rude comments about me.

"Well, you know how Mom’s don’t always keep their promises? Mine doesn’t always
either."

Read the rest of the story about How A Boy Got Inspired to Play the Piano.

The wierd thing is that I think the piano is something Victor really is interested in. He's not just playing it because he thinks all his friends are. He loves it. He hears piano music everywhere we go and most of the time I'm not even aware of it playing in the background. After a beautiful song was played in Church today he said, "Wow, she's really a good piano player." "Yes, you're going to be that good some day," I replied. "No, I'm going to be better," he corrected me.

It gave me chills.

Where’s a Hungry Chicken When you Need One?

You know how Victor likes to take photos?

“Look how cute Mom. A Mommy grasshopper with its baby riding on its back!”

"Um ya. That's what it is. A baby riding on her back."


While I was lying in bed last night feeling the cool breeze and trying to drift off to sleep, I was reminded of how excited I am that the neighboring mink farm is moving out of state. Eau de Sewer Smelling Mink does not sweet dreams bring. We have a view of the distant mink sheds outside our living room window. I'm thinking high rises would be a better smelling alternative.

The Wild Things Were Getting Restless

"Take them out to the ball game,
Take them out with the crowd.
Buy them some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if they never get back,
Let them root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win I don't care.
For it's one, two, three kids, they're out,
At the old ball game,"

With their Grandparents and here I am, left at home all by my lonesome. Call me Honest but I won't miss them for a second.

Did I mention that they'll be gone ALL NIGHT??? Guess what I'm doing with my night off?

I'll let you know when I find out!

I'm dying to know.. did the kids win anything?

They did actually! We just found out about it today. Victor won some adorable hand crafted hair clips. Don't you think he'll look sweet in them? His hair is long enough but I think he's unselfishly planning on giving them to his sisters.

I, of course, didn't win a single thing just like I predicted. It might have helped if I had entered more than two drawings but still...

I Want a Raise

We had a big family counsel tonight to discuss life, the universe and everything in it. For a split second the topic of moving came up, which it inevitably does for some reason even though we have no intention of ever moving again, and created an uproar in the children's seats.

"We are not moving. You promised we wouldn't move again for at least 7 years!" Victor cried.

Apparently our move a year and a half ago was such a good experience that we still have fond memories of it.

Persistence so kindly filled us in on the facts of the situation. "After we have grown up and moved out of the house and you guys are in charge," she explained, "then you can move if you want to."

Thanks for explaining it to us sweetie.

All I want to know is, once we get to be in charge, does that mean they start paying us an allowance?

Two Sisters

It was one of those days that make your heart feel like it's ripping out of your chest.

But in the best way possible because every time you saw them together you had to catch your breath at the miracle of love you were beholding.

And you hated every precious moment because you knew it would be over before you could blink.

Except that it wasn't.

They were best buddies the entire day. All because Stranger got tired of Lovely hitting people and he made her go to her room until she was ready to talk about what she had done instead of throwing her limp body on the floor in tears because her father had said a stern word to her.

Who has ever heard of a two year old going to time out until she could discuss her behavior? Apparently Stranger because after two minutes in her room she cracked the door open and said, "I ready talk." She apologized to Persistence and then she climbed up into her sister's lap and lay perfectly still while Persistence held her close and tickled her arm.

"Is Persistence your best buddy," I asked? "She my best buddy Mommy. She my best buddy."

"I'll get her out of the car," Persistence later informed me. "I'll take her potty." "I'll hold her hand."

"Take our picture together Mom. We're best buddies."


Ok but only if you promise to love each other forever.

She Will Amaze and Astound You

Remember when I said a two year old couldn't learn to hang up her clothes?

I lied.

I present this video not so much for her hanging skills but more to display her dramatic talents. Slow motion meltdowns are my favorite. Very entertaining.




More talent. For a split second I almost believed her sincerity.





I took this video when she was going through a whole "Stupid Mommy" phase that I am really missing now.

I can't remember if I posted this video last time but let's just look at it again for the adorableness of it, shall we?

FYI

If you hold your thumb up to a stapler and squeeze the trigger, it WILL put a staple through your thumb. Just in case you were wondering. Now you know.

And it won't really hurt either but you may turn white and almost pass out from the fear of discovery and having said staple removed.

And later when your Mom asks you if you would mind putting another staple through your thumb so she can take a picture of it you will say, "No way! Do you think I'm stupid???"

Disclaimers:
Do not try this at home.
Any resemblance to actual persons or events are purely coincidental.
No thumbs were harmed in the taking of this picture.

A Recipe for a Relaxing Sabbath

Sometimes you just have to lick the bowl clean.

First of all I would like to know when my seven year old is going to figure out the difference between a fridge and a freezer because when I ask her to put the chicken in the fridge and I find it frozen solid three hours later when I'm ready to cook it I have to think we have a problem.

This is also a reminder not to cook with both of your kids at the same time. Just because it's Father's Day doesn't mean you should help one child make blank while helping the other child make blank. Everyone will dance around, fight and destroy the entire kitchen while the screaming two year old pokes her fingers into everything that she has to have "RIGHT NOW" but you keep telling her is for later.

At some point when the flour is flying and the butter is melting all over the bottom of the microwave you will say, "This is why people don't cook with their children. It is just too frustrating! I should get some kind of award for doing this today."

Then your kids will say, "What kind of award do you want?"

"Oh, Mother of the Year or Greatest Mother in the World or something like that."

"Ok, I'm going to make you one!"

"No I am!"

"No, we'll make it together and then I'll give it to her."

"No, I'll give it to her!"

"No I will and stop telling her what we're doing or it won't be a surprise!"

"She doesn't know what we're talking about! You don't know what we're talking about do you Mom?"

"No, of course not. I can't hear a single word of your yelling at each other. Whatever you're planning will be a big surprise and as long as you make a big mess and argue during the whole process I will be sure to love it," you will say.

And then the fighting will continue as you make everyone clean up the mess and send them to bed except that when they smell bedtime coming they start acting nice and cute and cuddling and reading to each other and then they know they have you right where they want you and you will let them stay up as late as they want and they are right.

Persistent Assistant

I had to organize this fun little puzzle the other day because there were just too many pieces.

I separated the big words from the little words to make the puzzle more manageable for Lovely. We'll save the bigger words for when she's older.

Don't you just love these quick little organizing projects?

My little helper and I have worked so hard the last couple of days. She has been persistent in her attempts to escape my organizing clutches but she was never able to get very far since she doesn't have a driver's license and her bike has a flat tire.

Our mission is to clean and organize every room in the house and today we worked in my studio. It took us two hours just to finish one corner! It was the corner full of the kid's art supplies and sewing projects and it was a mess.

I'm breathing a sigh of relief as I work in here now. With the worst part behind us we should be able to finish the rest of the room next week but we h